Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Our children have so much because of how freely you all give. We were kind of scared that that children wouldn’t have a Christmas. I know that is stupid but I guess that was just one of the thoughts going through this. Not only did they have a Christmas but they had an amazing Christmas. And you all gave us an amazing Christmas as well.
When you exchange gifts you sometimes start to feel like you are just getting a gift because you gave a gift and vice versa. But when you have nothing to give and someone gives you something, your heart is really attuned to how much people love and care for you. Things like a Victoria’s Secret Gift Card, a cookie book teaching me how to decorate a cookie to look like a leisure suit, and a handpainted ornament that is a duplicate of a cherished ornament that was broken. Those are the things that break down your heart and make you realize just how loved you are.
So anyway, thank you so much. It means the world to us that you care for us and our children. We would be nothing without the people that God has chosen to be in our lives.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
At first I was really quite upset about the prospect of my husband being away from home for that long and at night but now (secretly) I am getting a tiny bit excited. Here are some of the reasons why:
Socks…I love to wear socks to bed but Nick hates it when I do, so I don’t. Guess who will be wearing socks to bed now?
Hitting the Hay…he by no way makes me or anything but a lot of times I stay up later than I should so I can spend time with Nick alone. I am hoping that the nights Nick works I will be able to get myself to bed at about 9 and have a restful night’s sleep.
Scary Face…remember the face you went to bed with before there was someone else in your bed? I am talking the curlers in your hair, noxema all over, that face you sported? Well I will be able to wear the scary face again…provided no little children need me who are going to be scared out of their mind.
Snowman pj’s…when you come to bed wearing purple thermal pajamas with giant snowmen on them, it kind of kills any mood of intimacy there might have been…now I can wear them whenever I want!
As much as these things sound so exciting (not) and luxurious (not) I am going to miss my man so much. There is nothing better than falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves you as much as you love them. I love how he watches television and twirls my hair. I love that we have only ever known one another so intimately and ever will only know one another.
I am going to miss him when he is at work but I am sure it will make falling asleep next to him that much sweeter when he gets to be at home. :)
Monday, December 28, 2009
Anyway I have some HUGE news…Nick got a job! And he is actually really excited about it. Plus we don’t have to move and he should be making as much as he was before which is fantastic!
But I have noticed that I do this every time. When I have no control over anything I lean solely on God. I think “God will bring us out of this.” And of course he does because He is God and is amazing. But I give God the glory and praise Him for about 5 minutes and then I am off to go and worry. Yes God gave us a job but I am here worrying about “will we have enough money?” and “do you think we will be able to get that new thing I really want?” and yet here I am worrying…again. Its then I feel a little tap on my shoulder from God saying “um, excuse me? Remember me? Guy who’s brought you out of this crap? Yeah, I can take care of money stuff too. Its no big thing. Just trust” And there it is again, that word. Trust. I need to trust. Please God help me to trust. Please forgive me for not trusting you. Help me. Because even if I feel like we now are back in control the truth of the matter is that we never have any control. God...He has the control.
So those are the changes in our lives. God has protected us and brought us through the storm. That is something that will always be unchanging. I am hoping that this year though I can be changing and learn to trust that God will provide for us and keep us safe.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How much wrapping paper is it going to take for me to wrap a guitar?
What is going to quiet the rumbling in my tummy?
Do you ever have those times when you realize you've had to pee for a really long time and nothing was keeping you from going to the bathroom you just kind of got used to the feeling of having to go? I do that ALL the time!
My children are the greatest kids ever!
I have the best husband ever! He is sweet, sensitive, patient, hilarious, sexy, and so freaking awesome. Did I mention he's a former tux model?
Do short people have reason to live?
How cute are my boots?
Super excited for my Aunt to get here! Get here lady, get here!
I think my Dog's on Crack
Okay, that's all for now. Thanks!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
So we had to get creative. VERY creative. Here was my plan of action: shop sales every week, look at clearance items, shop with coupons, and shop around. Also I shop through the year for my gift closet and at the end of the year if there's anything left that the children would like I use those for presents too. This turned into an amazing blessing this year as I already had some gifts for the kids. We were able to get 10 items for each child and 3 presents that are for both of them. Twenty-three items under our tree for $200.00 isn't bad. Here's what I got for each Child, what I paid, where I got it:
Sit n Spin for $10.00 at Target
My Pal Scout for $10.00 at Target
Fur Real Puppy for $12.00 at Toys R Us
Chuck My Talking Truck for $22.00 at Toys R Us
Batman Costume for $4.00 at Toys R Us
Little Einstein Toy for $0.00, I had this in my gift closet from years ago so I’m counting it as free!
Christmas Baby Book for $0.00, again shopped the gift closet
Charlie Brown Hat for $5.00 at Gap
Helmet Heroes for $20.00 at Toys R Us
Imaginext figure for $6.00 at Toys R Us
Hungry Hippo Travel Game for $1.00 at Target
Disney’s Belle Crown for $4.00 at the Disney Store
Disney’s Belle Gown for $21.00 at The Disney Store
Kitty purse for $0.00 from the Gift Closet
Pink Guitar for $26.00 from Toys R Us
Mary Engelbreit paper dolls for $0.00 from gift closet
Book for $0.00 from gift closet
Webkinz pair for $10.00 from Target
Candy Land for $4.00 from Toys R Us
Book for $5.00 from Ebay
Robe for $10.00 from Target
Lava Lamp for $6.00 from Menards
DVD for $6.00 at Family Christian Bookstore
Aquadoodle for $8.00 at Toys R Us
Go Fish Game for $4.00 at Target
If anything pops out at you and you just have to know how I got it that cheap leave a comment and I’ll respond. I was very impressed with what we got and I know the kids will love everything! Shhh…don’t tell them what they are getting!
Friday, November 20, 2009
In other news the interview yesterday went well and he should have a second interview next week, so keep those prayers coming! I will let you know more as I know it. I am praying for a job offer by Thanksgiving...that would truly be something to be thankful for.
Monday Nick is studying for some AICP exam. Before he was laid off his former employer had paid for him to take the test so he is still going ahead with it. This would give him a lot of accredation and help out job wise. He has been studying every spare second he has for this so I am anxious for him to take the test.
Nothing planned for the weekend. The children and I will be preparing for Christmas with cleaning and decorating while Nicholas is studying away.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Nick got a call last night from a friend and he has an interview at the place he works tomorrow! Did you hear that? TOMORROW! Praise Jesus! I am begging you to pray for this. Please coat this sucker in prayer. I want him to have this job so much. And he wants it too. It would be a great opportunity for him. Not to mention the fact that we wouldn't have the leave the area which would be AMAZING and such an answer to prayer. Okay...get praying!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Then there is the life stuff that takes a toll too. Like our truck now needing a new Alternator...yikes! Unexpected things just tend to put me over the edge and that I guess has done it this week. I know God is going to provide and I have Faith that Nick will get a job. But sometimes I am just tired of WAITING.
Anyway that is the reality of today. I am holding strong to the fact that there is a lot of love and I have a lot of God's Grace to cover me today...because I surely do not have the right attitude today. Prayers would be wonderful! :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
This week we enjoyed having just normal boring days. Here are some of the pictures. I love that we have the children on a schedule so most of the time they know what to expect. I think that is especially comforting to children. The children love story time...both in the afternoon and before bed in the evening hours. I also love that I have a craft time with Emma for a little while after Calvin goes to sleep. I think it helps her to feel that she is getting enough attention. Anywho enjoy the pictures and have a great weekend!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I volunteered to make cookies for the bake sale for Emma's school. Its Saturday which I thought, yeah, Saturday's still way out there...except I just realized I have to send them to school with her on Friday meaning I have to have those silly cookies ready THURSDAY NIGHT...Yikes! This is my first bake sale EVER and in my Bree Van de Camp style that I always annoyingly gravitate to, I want everything to be perfect. Errrr I hate that about me. So anyway I have been googling and researching most popular bake sale cookies and figuring out how to properly decorate those puppies.
All of this coming down to me telling you that I probably will not be blogging much this week. Or sleeping. Or eating anything but leftover frosting. Yikes again.
What's on your nightstand right now? There seriously are about 10 books on my nightstand, ranging from Apraxia, to the history of setting a table, which yes Marcy you can tell me later what a dork I am...I'm expecting it. :) And yes Aunt Jan I will totally write down the title of the book so you can read it too. And yes Jaime you can laugh at me and tell me how I'm being dumb...cute but dumb. Teehee, there's my shout out to some of the people I know who read this. Love you all!
So anyway I will try to write more starting next week. I think I might need a vacation sometime soon to reclaim my sanity!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"I just get all jumpy when I'm near him and I can't talk."
"What do you mean jumpy?"
"I don't know I just feel like I need to jump, jump, jump, and I can't talk or anything."
Isn't that the most precious thing you've ever heard? I know that's how MY Nicholas makes me feel too so I can totally relate. She is just so precious. And if this is starting already we DEFINITELY are going to have our hands full!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I went out to my car to go to work and the hard working battery was dead…thanks for 6 years of effort little battery. So I cruised off in the family vehicle. No problem.
I came home to a glum Nicholas. He didn’t get the job he really wanted. He was sad. Crushed. Kisses and hugs, prayers and consolations. How I love that man. It pains my little heart to see him not in good spirits.
As we were getting ready to leave our house our refrigerator started making a really funky noise. I mean a Funky Winkerbean kind of noise. A call to Nicholas’ child hood neighbor gave us some suggestions of what to do. And lo and behold it was fixed!
We are trying to praise God in all things. ALL things. The crappy unexpected things where your heart is crushed and you feel like you can’t breathe. Or the sudden things that could ruin your day. I will praise God in all of those things. I am determined.
I must tell you when Nick was first laid off I was TERRIFIED. To be honest, we only had a few hundred dollars in our savings account. Yikes. You can’t survive for very long on that much. But that money has grown. Seriously it has, I'm not just bad at math. Money doesn’t just grow on its own you know? God has made that money grow. There is no doubt in my mind. Now in all honesty we don’t have money just oozing out around us. But we are okay for now.
God has provided in ways we had never thought possible:
Monetarily we have been blessed by friends and family over the past months. We’ve found money left in trash cans for us, checks slid over the table at casual lunches, and a simple gift of cash just given without being expected. We weren’t looking for such gifts but God has pulled on these people’s heartstrings to give, and they obeyed.
We’ve also had an abundance of bills that were lower than expected. Credits showing up that make no sense and things that we know God was behind.
In other ways of being blessed our friends and family have been working overtime to make sure we are refreshed and provided for. Watching the kids so Nick can job hunt or study has been such an enormous blessing. Babysitters so Nick and I can go and window shop or get a cup of coffee, just the two of us, has meant more than you’ll ever know. Seriously, Nick and I are strong but umemployment kind of just sucks the life out of a marriage. Its times like those that help us to stay strong and puts wind in our sails to fight together and not one another. Chicago Bears tickets, paying for meals, taking us out to dinner, bringing a bottle of wine for a night of cards, gifts for the children…all of those things bring tears to my eyes that we have been blessed with all of you.
And we now have fairies. We have a diaper fairy, a chicken fairy, a meat fairy, a wipes fairy, a Christmas shoes fairy. Most of these fairies are Nick’s mom who without I don’t think we would make it at all. But to know we have people in our lives we can call and they will help makes us feel as though we are going to be okay. It reminds us of God’s love because we see it in these people.
I don’t tell you all of this for you to think “geesh they are down and out” or “I need to help more”. Please don’t think that way at all. Rather I want this time to be a testimony to God’s power.
All of these things remind us and encourage us that God is in control and provides for us…constantly. So when I have a doozie of a day I can take solace in knowing God will pull us through. Just look at what he has done this far. And when thinking of all the ways he has helped us doesn’t perk me up I simply lift my eyes. I look at the hottie of a husband I have and the two amazing children. God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I can look higher up and see the sky: the vastness of God’s power and beauty. And I know, I KNOW, he holds the future.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I hope everyone had a great time on this All Hallow's Eve. We had a nice time. Yesterday though the children both came down with something. Calvin was running about 102 fever with Motrin and Emma was just sick but with no fever. Seriously Calvin was looking about near death yesterday and I was starting to get scared. We laid hands on him and prayed, prayed, prayed. Within an hour his temperature was below 100 and he was up playing. Before we prayed he wasn't even opening his eyes...see? That's what prayer can do. Praise God!
Today we were still under the weather but by Trick or Treat time our fevers were gone and we had perked up a bit. So we went out for a bit of trick or treating. Last weekend we went to a zoo Halloween event in our area so we have had enough trick or treating to last us a while. I've posted a couple of pictures. Hope you had a great time too
Thursday, October 29, 2009
As you can see its the little things now a days that get my goat. An $8.00 lunch at a sandwich shop and an arm to be on when walking through the City still gets my heart all aflutter. I love that man so much. I love that he thinks of me and thinks of how to make me happy. I love that he loves me.
Oh yes and by the way...my haircut totally rocks!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Today is Wednesday and it is beautiful. Don't you just love Autumn? There is something so rejuvenating about the season. There are leaves to rake of course but there are also mugs of Apple Cider to sip and lots of cuddling to do. I love when you step outside and it just SMELLS like Autumn. In our little corner of the world is has been terribly cold. I thought perhaps we would never see a real Autumn. But I am very thankful that God brought the warmer weather back and it has been here for the past week. Ah, Fall and I can resume our love affair! I hope you all are enjoying today wherever you may be. Step outside and take a deep gulp of God's lovely Autumn air!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
For my Birthday I have a wish. I am not telling you exactly what it is but I will tell you it has to do with Nick getting a job (the most pinacle thing on my mind right now). Decisions are being made this week and I just hope they are good news for us. Please be praying. Pray, pray, pray!
So that's what's going on right now. I am cleaving to the fact that I KNOW God is for us. Plans to bring us good and not harm. I know something is coming. I know. I just have to somehow learn to be patient and rely on God moving things in His timing, not mine. :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Emma has blossomed into such a neat kid. She is hilarious and unpredictable. She sometimes is such a tough guy and other times she has such a tender heart she is crying uncontrollably. Those are the times that break my heart. She also is so spontaneous. Most of the times she is so shy. And then there are those times like tonight when we walked by the neighbors and she yells at the man on the porch "I'm Emma and that's Calvin". Well okay.
She has also become so independent that it often times breaks my heart. Iwant to be able to scoop her up and cuddle with her but most of the time she just isn't having it.
Emma also has quite the vocabulary. You can hear her scolding Cal often times with sayings such as "this is completely unneccessary" or "this is totally uncalled for". So silly.
That's my big girl. She is so quick to tell me she is going to be 4. To me she is already grown up I just don't know where the time is going.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I put him into bed with Daddy and he just snuggled all in. He was definitely not happy to see me go this morning and it just broke my heart to have to leave him.
Right now I am living with the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" in my heart. The desire of my heart is to be at home with those precious children. There is nothing I want more. So I am delighting myself in God and I am faithful that in His time I will get to be at home with my babies.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Here we are in the basement of the mill!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I love having her call me and tell me these silly little things because its things like this that I miss when I am at work. We have some very creative kids. Emma says funny things and Calvin tries to stack dinosaurs on top of cows…seriously these kids are just too cute.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
So we are back to Apraxia. Have I talked about this before? Apraxia is a neurological disorder in where he physically cannot figure out how to get the words out to say, please give me more crackers."
Monday our therapist told us two things: he's either incredibly stubborn or it's Apraxia. My heart hurts for my baby. Just imagine being in a party and being ignored most of the time. You have no way of telling anyone, "yes another cream puff would be delightful" or "no thank you, enough champagne for me". That must be his whole life. How freaking frustrating. No wonder we are punching walls.
She told us another thing that I was dreading...we have to sign to him. I don't know sign language. I know about as much sign language as Amish people know Mandarin Chinese...not very much.
All I can think is, what if this is his life? What if he can never speak? What if I am signing to him "smile for the camera" for graduation pictures?
I know I sound like a spaz, I know that everyone keeps telling me "he'll talk when he's ready", "he's just so little", "Einstein didn't talk till he was three" but the truth of the matter is I don't care. I want my baby to talk. I want to her "I love mama." As any mother feels, I would take his hurt and his frustration away in a New York minute. I would do that because it kills me and eats away at my heart when he's frustrated, or sad, or hurt, and can't tell me that. I don't even know when he's had a bad dream or when something scared him. His cry sounds the same for everything.
I know he'll probably talk at some point, but until that point comes all of this is painfully difficult. If he didn't have a problem I wouldn't have a team of therapists, and mountains of evaluations, and paperwork, and activities, and videos, and on and on.
Thanks for listening. I pray and cry every night that my little boy will one day be able to talk. Please pray the same.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I drink either a hot cocoa or a chai tea almost every night.
Cocoa must be made with TONS of marshmallows
Ina Garten is my current hero
I often times think I am the worst mother ever
I have no idea what my purpose in life is
I Heart Chunky Peanut Butter...Nick likes creamy so guess what I eat?
I secretly want a volvo wagon to complete the whole soccer mom look
Squirrels have always scared me...and now Racoons are topping that list! AHHHH!
I have a hard time transitioning and I hate Change
I only like thick crust pizza
I often time crave Diet Coke with a TON of ice
Eel is my favorite sushi...to which I have made Nick like...payback for the peanut butter I guess
Okay that's it for now...now you can write YOUR random things about you!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
In all ways God provides. Whether it be more money in your bank account than before (how did that happen?), an inspirational email from an editor, or a loving gesture from a brother, God provides for our spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.
Now Nick is busy growing a Ditka mustache...oh great! :) Did I mention we're excited?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Here we are praying for Emma's first day of school...when we were done she asked us to pray for Calvin...isn't that just precious?
Anyway, in case you haven't caught on, I tend to be mopey and whiney in the morning and then post a happier, cheerful post later on in the day. Not saying thats the rule since its my blog and I can do whatever I want.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Our last time in the water...sprinkler or otherwise...see you next year summer!