Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Where the Heck is the Other Shoe?

Do you do this? Do you just wait for the other shoe to drop so to speak? I have a problem with being conststantly anxious. I know I have spoken about this before. But right now things are going really well. I KNOW God wants me home. Money keeps magically appearing. Things keep falling into place and every night when we kneel for prayer time I find myself in tears when thanking God for everything...seriously there is so much I don't even know what to say to the Big Guy. But in the back of my mind there is this part of me saying "enjoy it while it lasts..."

I guess my question is what the heck is up with that? I think it is a definite trust issue with God that I think "yeah things are great now but He can't possibly keep it up. I don't deserve THAT much." But here's the thing: I don't deserve one bit of it. Not one bit. Nothing. Nada. Zip. That is what Grace is all about. I screw up but somehow out of the ashes God picks me up, brushes me off and sends me back into the game...and He blesses me on top of forgiving me. Wow.

Does anyone else just kind of wait for things to go sour or am I the only one in the boat?

I ask this because I am still working on being super happy and joyful. And it is definitely working I must say. I don't feel so much like a maid anymore when I do things with a song in my step. Nicholas has definitely shown appreciation and randomly hugs me and thanks me for being me. I love that man so much!

Well goodnight!
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