Okay so here's what I hate. Everyone keeps saying to me, wow you look pregnant...oh you think? I am 9 months pregnant! Of course I look pregnant! In pregnancy news I am officially wishing I could not feel my lower extremities, I think it would be a lovely thing. It is a hard thing to explain and unless you have been pregnant you probably have no idea what idea I mean but my girl parts just really ache. Pelvis area I guess you would call it from having a child sitting on me. I have also been having contractions a lot which I knew before were Braxton Hicks and yesterday they began to actually hurt. Again I learned just Braxton Hicks. Apparently it is perfectly find for me to have contractions for the next month and feel like I am going to die. I also have a foot in my lung. It hurts and I am hoping this baby comes out an Air Jordan or something to that effect. And at the end of this comes labor.
They say that being uncomfortable in the last few months of pregnancy is God's way of getting you ready for labor. I have heard people say that you finally get so tired of being tired and uncomfortable that you just want the kid out and you don't care how much pain you have to endure to make it happen. And that brings to me to the actual labor. Lets just get specific here. I have never been in labor. I never had contractions, we never timed. I went to the hospital with Emma and they induced me. And nothing freaking happened so they sent me home. And then they induced me again and again nothing, so I had a C-Section. This time I am going for a VBAC which is Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. I am excited about going through labor which I know sounds weird to those of you who have endured the pains of labor. But after I had Emma I was pretty depressed that I didn't go through labor and it was something that I had to work through. But I would really love to be able to go through labor.
The scary part however is the death factor. I had to sign a sheet at my last doctor's appointment stating that I understand the risk that I, the baby, or both may die in a vbac. Granted the chances are slim. The death part is from the chance that my c-sec scar would tear open (yikes!). The chances of that happening are only 1-2%. And in that 1-2% 1 out of 1000 people die or the baby dies from something catastrophic. I know that there is always a chance of dying in child birth so I am figuring those odds of something happening are about the same odds as if I had another c-section. But somehow having to sign my name to that piece of paper was like signing my life away. I know that sounds weird.
Another reason I think I am so scared of dying is all of the crap I have heard this time around while being pregnant. A friend of mine only had about two weeks left and went in to labor and her baby was born with the cord around his neck. He was alive when he was born but they couldn't save him. Another girl I know told me of her friend who just died a couple of weeks ago in labor when a blood clot traveled from her leg to her heart. I have also been reading multiple stories of women who contracted breast cancer while they were pregnant. I guess I am just scared of all of the factors in the chance of dying. With Emma it was all flowers, hearts, and sunshine.
So that is what has been going on in our neck of the woods, what has been going on with you?