Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Enough is Enough

Sometimes I think I am becoming obsessed with the computer...does anyone else ever feel this way?  Surely it can't just be me.

In this day and age (gosh I sound like old people) with the computer such a part of our lives, it becomes so easy to just wile a day away in front of the laptop. 

I am lowering my head in shame and raising my hand to tell you, I am guilty of this. 

Well, not a whole day. 

But some of it. 

I was the woman/wife/mother/girl who would sit down on the couch with the computer to "check facebook/yahoo/blog/plan lessons" do something and before I knew it the entire afternoon would be gone.  An entire naptime of the children's had suddenly disappeared and I had nothing to show for it. 

Before we went on vacation I was doing this a lot. 

I didn't realize it until during vacation when I was unplugged.  I remember I saw the laptop in the hotel room and instantly thought "I HAVE to check facebook".  But then I stopped. 

No I don't.  There is no earthly reason why I HAD to check it.  No one was trying to get a hold of me.  I was not a part of anything that needed tending. 

And so I didn't.  It felt Mauvelous! 

The week and a half that we were gone really helped me get over me dependency on the computer.  Today I am sitting down to write this, keeping an eye on the clock to see when the 15 minutes I've alloted myself is over. 

And I am going to try to keep this up.  Because truth be told, no matter how lonely and without adult interaction I may feel during the day, facebook checking isn't going to solve anything.  Neither will pinteresting. 

If anything it was making me kind of jealous of people.  And not in a way of "oh I wish I had those shoes" kind of way.  But in a weird, back door way.  Like, if someone posted something they did with their kids that was fun, I would suddenly be envious of so-and-so that she always comes up with the most creative ways to spend time with her family while I always have to copy people.  Ugh, I want to be like that I moan, and then I look some more.  And then so and so is talking about how their husband is amazing and then I secretly wish MY husband was amazing (which he already is, duh!)

If I see someone on Pinterest posting things, I secretly wonder how they even FIND the neat things to post on pinterest and then I wish that I had that much time to search for things and wish my brain would think of the right search words to type in that generated those things to re-pin. 

In short, I completely understand if you now think I am out of my mind nuts, but I am guessing there are a few of you who completely understand what I am saying here. 

Over our time away I realized that I don't need to want someone else's creativity or cute boots or dorky awesome husband, or anything else anyone has.  Because I have what God gave me.  He's pretty great you know, and looking around I see that I have it pretty great too. 

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I am going to try to stop living up to the expectations I put on myself by idolizing what everyone else has or does on the computer.  I am going to do that by not spending so much time on the computer.  Which in turn will help me to have more time around the house and get things done and use my brain to be crafty awesome in my own right which will in turn help me to be happy with myself. 

It's a full circle around here, folks.  Full Circle. 
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