Monday, August 2, 2010

The Ring

Hey look! This is my engagement ring! Have you seen this sucker before? I bet you have although you may have never LOOKED looked at it. And I am going to bet that everyone outside of maybe 1 of you doesn't even know the story behind this symbolic piece of jewelry that I am lucky enough to have so here it goes...

Nick and I had been dating for oh, probably about a year and half and knew we wanted to get married. We weren't engaged yet but we talked about getting married and I guess I just assumed that we would. The problem being that we were broke college students. My mom had given me her ring set from her first marriage so that we could one day use the diamond or trade it in for another ring. I more than willingly gave it to Nick and he just thought that was absurd. There was no way I could just GIVE him a diamond. So he bought it from me...for $1.00. One of our dear friends Beth describes these stories Nick and I have as an "us" story because it is so like anyone else but it is so cute and funny.

So in telling the story I will tell you that life went on its merry way for a while longer and when we had been courting for about 22 months Nick popped the big question. Super exciting, and it is also a cute story so I am saving for another time and another place :).

The ring that you see above is the ring he gave me. He had been telling me he had "study groups" he had to go to when all the while he had been sneaking away to a local jeweler to design my ring. I was so surprised! It is a platinum ring and the diamond in the middle is actually the one from my mom's ring. The sides have channeled diamonds and sapphires. People actually ask me a lot of the time if I am missing diamonds because actually the sapphires are such beauties that they almost look black.

Here's what I really love and think about the ring:

The Design: I LOVE that this husband of mine made this ring. He had the design in his head and was able to make it a reality. I just really think that is something very, very special and it makes it feel even more of a gift from him to me.

The Diamond: My diamond is not ginormous and it actually has a flaw in it. Nick said he had to have it appraised by about 3 different jewelers who said they've never seen a diamond like that but yes it is in fact a diamond. I know I think too much into things, blah, blah, but that is one of the reasons I love the diamond. We aren't perfect but we are definitely unique and love each other just the same. I also love the story behind me selling him the diamond. I love that I got my ring when we were just poor college students...looking at the diamond reminds me of where we've come from. When all of my friends were getting engaged I used to feel jealous about how big of a diamond they would get and personally I think that that sometimes shows the immaturity of a relationship. I never would have wanted Nick to think that he had to get me some huge rock, and obviously he knew that he didn't have to...there were no expectations to uphold or anything to prove. He gave me a ring because he couldn't stand for me to not be his anymore and that is what I love about the ring. Going back to the jealousy thing, I no longer feel jealousy. And sometimes, based on the person, I feel sorrow or pity that they center their lives around size and trying to keep up with others. So basically my ring is a good reminder of the maturity in my own life and way of thinking toward material possessions. *My disclaimer here is that I have several friends with gigantic diamonds who are not shallow...I am not talking about everyone here...duh!

The Sapphires: I LOVE sapphires and wanted them in my ring. Nick did not. But as you can see he designed them with sapphires because it is my ring after all, and he loves me (read this to say "I Won! I Won!" Just kidding). This is a good reminder for me of compromise and the enduring love that comes with our marriage. Sometimes we agree to things we may not necessarily want but we do it because we love the other person so, so very much.

The platinum: one of the strongest metals but also one of the most easily to be scratched. This ring is gouged to the hilt. Sometimes I get upset with myself that I've treated it so poorly, but I have the hands of a wife and mother and my ring represents that. My ring has been worn while I've kneaded bread dough, held seizing baby's, changed countless diapers, and my husband's hand in a hospital bed and from a hospital bed. It never left me through the birth of our two greatest accomplishments and it never, ever leaves me.

So that is the story behind the ring. Nick hopes to one day upgrade me and me, being the sentimental one, really have my qualms about it. If we do "upgrade" it will be with a sapphire. I HATE what diamonds represent and the sacrifices made to obtain them and until about the 1920's sapphires and other gems were what were on wedding rings. I would be fine with my ring but I know it bugs Nick that he never actually bought me a rock, so I "guess" I will let him buy one, which again will be a compromise...like the sapphires I have represent... :)
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