Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Happiness in Marriage is a Choice

Okay to be fair here I told him to give me a really goofy face...promise :)
In case no one has told you Nick and I are delieriously in love! Ah, young love! Except idon't know if we have what you would call YOUNG love considering we've been together for close to 10 years. We met when I was 19 and he was 22. It just seems so young and innocent now and back then I felt so grown-up.
Anywho we married when I was 21 which now seems so young to be getting married. But it was the same age that my Grandmother was when she got married and definitely not fresh out of high school or anything.
We have known so many people who have gotten a divorce, who have split up, broken up, are just plain fed up. Whenever I hear that this has happened it absolutely scares me to death. I think "what was it that made them end? were they happy like us?"
I am in no way saying that I know everything about marriage or that I am some type of advce expert but I do believe that what Nick and I have is a pretty good thing and I have SCADS of people tell me that they wish they were as in love as we are. In all honesty we have to work to make this work. A LOT of work.
Dates, talking, laughing, making a point to not get too stressed about living, and making sure God is in our center. I was told once by a dear older lady that life is 20% circumstances and 80% attitude. I think that this completely applies to life. We all know people who have are unhappy because its just not exciting anymore or the spark is just gone. But what those people don't realize is that you are going through life with the person you love and life quite frankly just isn't very exciting sometimes. Nope...in fact its scary and traumatic and boring and stressful in a lot of areas with exciting being very far away. But you choose to be with that person because what an honor to have someone choose YOU to be with.
I feel absolutely honored and blessed that Nick is with me. He chose me to snuggle with in the middle of the night, to bear his children, to get him aspirin when he has a headache.
We have a friend who divorced because he and his wife were just best friends. Seriously? Isn't that the way it should be? You can CHOOSE to be in love, to talk, to stay up in the wee hours of the night talking, to love one another truly and deeply. I am not saying that we have not had our share of marriage counseling, slammed doors, nights on the couch, or a handful of other painful, painful memories but we have muddled through.
I know that a lot of marriages are pretty one sided and that sucks. I am so blessed with Nick that has has fought with me tooth and nail to get this to work.
His mom had the kids Monday and he got a lot done on our living room (yeah!) but you know what else we also did? We laid on the couch and talked and laughed and were just silly. For the life of me I can't remember what we talked about but we talked and connected.
My prayer for you today is that your life contains such a relationship and if not that you may figure out how to get it there. God showed us how to love and I am so thankful He did because it is so amazing.
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