The Art Institute

Emma and Baby Grace...isn't she an adorable Momma?
Thoroughly enjoying smores!

Emma and I making smores...somehow we slaved away while the boys enjoyed the fruits of our labor...teehee!

I think he has too many marshmallows in that cute mouth

My cuties in the museum

Here we are!

Daddy and Emma

Today we visited the Art Institute and had such a wonderful time! We truly are blessed by our family and we always have such a great time together. It amazes me how funny our children are. We have such well behaved children, it always amazes me!

We also ate at a restaurant which served smores you could make at the table and had a great time! Afterwards we did a bit of shopping where Emma took Baby Grace with her...so cute!

All in all it was a wonderful day of beginning cultural experiences for the children. While at the museum we discussed which colors make us feel happy and the textures of the paintings...how Vangogh used a skinny brush and monet used a lot of oil paint and it looks very chunky...who knows if they wull ever use this info but at least I will know it is in their cute little brains somewhere!

Where the Heck is the Other Shoe?

Do you do this? Do you just wait for the other shoe to drop so to speak? I have a problem with being conststantly anxious. I know I have spoken about this before. But right now things are going really well. I KNOW God wants me home. Money keeps magically appearing. Things keep falling into place and every night when we kneel for prayer time I find myself in tears when thanking God for everything...seriously there is so much I don't even know what to say to the Big Guy. But in the back of my mind there is this part of me saying "enjoy it while it lasts..."

I guess my question is what the heck is up with that? I think it is a definite trust issue with God that I think "yeah things are great now but He can't possibly keep it up. I don't deserve THAT much." But here's the thing: I don't deserve one bit of it. Not one bit. Nothing. Nada. Zip. That is what Grace is all about. I screw up but somehow out of the ashes God picks me up, brushes me off and sends me back into the game...and He blesses me on top of forgiving me. Wow.

Does anyone else just kind of wait for things to go sour or am I the only one in the boat?

I ask this because I am still working on being super happy and joyful. And it is definitely working I must say. I don't feel so much like a maid anymore when I do things with a song in my step. Nicholas has definitely shown appreciation and randomly hugs me and thanks me for being me. I love that man so much!

Well goodnight!

The Real Me

Yep, this is me...LindsayAnn.

I'm a dork. Totally and unappreciated.

I am a constant worrier. If there is nothing to worry about I will make something up.

I've decided I do not like people who think they are better than me because they hit the gym more than me. All that means is you probably have some type of fungal problem on your hands.

I still wonder what in the world my husband sees in me.

I am striving to be joyful about everything and happy and fun...which in turn means I am no longer worrying.

I have the funniest children you've ever seen.

I love playing the Game of Life over and over and over and over

I will creep you on Facebook...just know it.

I make to-do lists of how to tackle my to-do list.

I love the Lord and am in complete awe, speechless, no words to make, about this fantastic life God has given me.

My one addiction...hazelnut coffee creamer.

Sushi is something I yanked my husband over into and I think he's loving it too. Banana Republic is what he got me hooked on...whose was more expensive?

Spring is for lovers...totally for us.

Enjoy Sunday...it is the LORDS DAY! :)

So...

What do you think of my new look? I guess I should say updated look. I LOVE my header of the mom doing everything because 1) I have a rob that exact color, and 2) that is just me, I don't know it just is. But I thought it was a little bland and I was just getting tired of it. I was looking for a background, fully aware that I was going to have to ditch my header in order to do that. But when I uploaded the new do I was pleasantly surprised that it let me keep my multiple personalities up top! The best of both worlds if you ask me! Hooray, I am one happy lady! :)

Nick Made My Life

Nick told me today to listen to this song because it was about me. As he put it "I was driving and heard this song and thought, Hey! This is about my Lindsay Ann". He is just so sweet and I guess I never even thought he thought of me when he heard a song. I just love him so much and listening to this song by Jack Johnson brought tears to my eyes that he feels so strongly about me. Ah, he really does still give me butterflies! Ah. Here is the song:

I've got an Angel
She doesn't wear any wings
She wears a heart that can melt my own
She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing
She gives me presents
With her presence alone
She gives me everything I could wish for
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

She could make angels
I've seen it with my own eyes
You gotta be careful when you've got good love
Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying

But you're so busy changing the world
Just one smile can change all of mine
We share the same soul
We share the same soul

(I left out the ooh's, sorry Jack)

Friday

You know, when you don't work Friday's don't really feel like Fridays at all. I just left the supermarket and told the cashier to have a great weekend, only to find myself wondering...it is the weekend right? Is it only Tuesday? No we had two days of preschool so yes, yes it is Friday.

As I close out the first week of staying home I must say that I am having a great time...despite Emma's severe case of Seperation Anxiety, Calvin tipping his chair back and landing on the back of his head, and Nick's schedule getting all goofed up, I am having a wonderful time. I love knowing that I am getting things done and that I have plenty of time to put the mending aside and say, yes I will chase you around the house.

Also today Nick and I took Cal to Target to do some shopping while Emma was at Preschool. We loaded up on simple things we needed and Nick was all for getting the biggest container of toilet paper they make so I don't have to worry about it. As we were loading things in the car I got choked up for what must have been the millionth time.

Look at our lives! Look at our lives compared to two months ago! God has blessed us beyond measure. He has made all of my dreams come true, and oh my goodness, I just can't help but say, What A Mighty God We Serve! I fall on my knees, knowing that EVERYTHING we have comes from Him. And look at what He has chosen to give us.

Wow...

Our Day Yesterday

Yesterday we had a very nice day despite waking up at 4 am! I caught the children having quiet time together on the landing reading. Emma practiced with her guitar while Cal practiced the Eukele, and then Auntie Bean gave us Cal's Birthday present so after Daddy put it together they got busy working! I love them so much. Today I took Emma to preschool and picked her up and this was the first time I was ever able to do that. I know it seems like a simple thing but I am so grateful that I will be able to be the one who can do that from now on!

Drowning Fast

Why didn't someone shoot me when I thought I would be able to get so much done around the house being a Housewife? Today was definitely one for the records. It started with Emma getting into bed with me at 4 am, simultaneously waking up her brother. She then announced..."is there anything to do? I'm not tired at all." No! Go to bed!

This morning we had library school in which I arrived way too early. Errr. Then we met Bean and Mom for lunch and we were late. Then we went shopping and Cal discovered how exhilarating it is to punch me while I try to push the cart. Then we got home from shopping at 3 only to have 2 awake kids cry that I dare try to put them down for a nap.

Now we are having the screaming match that has become routine with Emma every night. She wants to be held, she doesn't want her mom to leave the room, etc. etc. So Nick has yelled, and spanked her, and I have done the same. Does anyone else have any advice? Am I a terrible mother that I am not coddling her? On one hand I think "well she's only 3" and then on the other hand I think "good grief, grow up, you're 3!" So I continue on with Mom guilt, bleary eyed from lack of sleep.

Our house looks like some type of intercity tornado stormed through. There is ham and bean soup cooked onto our stove and Nick is watching skating on tv. My head feels like it is going to explode with all of this! Errrr!

Cal's First Haircut

Saturday we took Cal to get his first haircut. For the most part he was awesome. All of the guys at the Barbershop kept commenting on how great he was doing. And he now looks like such a daper little man, I just can't believe it! I just love him so much but in moments like these it saddens me that he is growing up so quickly! So goodbye baby look and hello little boy look!

Day 1 of Being a Home Maker

In an effort to keep myself completely organized, I thought I would plan out my meals and post them on here so ya'll can keep me accountable. And plus then you'll know when you want to stop in for dinner! ;) Here goes:
Monday: Chicken Pot Pie
Tuesday: Creamed Ham and Asparagus on Toast
Wednesday: Taco night
Thursday: Ham and Beans with Jalapeno Cornbread
Friday: Spaghetti and Meatballs with garlic bread and salad
Saturday: Steak, Baked Potatoes, and Buttered Peas
Sunday: Panko crusted Chicken with Butter Noodles and Green Beans

Things here are going well so far. The children were impossible this weekend which certainly took a toll on Nicholas and myself. But so far, so good. I woke up at about 4:30 to exercise, have some quiet time with God and get ready before the chidren awoke.

That is it for now...have a wonderful day in the Lord! :)

The Children

Here are a couple of pictures from every day life with the children. Calvin is playing with Imaginext and Emma is in her robe after a bath. They seem to be having so much fun these days. Cal and Emma seem to be getting along well except for the fact that Calvin has become a boy who is definitely in his Terrible Two's! Ahhh! Hair pulling, hitting, kicking, biting, smacking, rubbing tuna on his sister, he does all of those things and more!

Errr! I am the mother of two children who apparently need some strong discipline right now. But you know what? Iwouldn't trade it for the world! I love them and we are having so much fun together!

A Day

I am working until noon today and then I am going to have the day to myself! I am going to be going to the mall to return some shoes and do a little shoping for the children. After that I am going to go to Target to hopefully purchase an Easter dress and some yummy sushi for lunch. I will eat said lunch at home while I let the dog out to do her thing. After that I will be going to the outlet mall to try to find some shoes for myself, some cute Valentine's Boxers for the love of my life, and possibly some easter outfits for the children.

How can I do this you ask? Because I have the best in-laws in the world (mother and father that is...I don't know about the rest of you yet! j/k :) ) They are taking the kids today. Nick is picking them up after work and will eat dinner down there, thus meaning that I have a day to myself and I also do not have to make dinner. Woot, woot!

I am so super excited because quite frankly, I just need a day! I need time to myself. And if I am super productive I will come home from errands and shopping and have time to get cleaning done so I can enjoy the weekend with the children. Hooray!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and are relaxed and refreshed come Monday!

Thrilling Thursday!

Well we have made it to Thursday! Isn't God just amazing? Every day should be viewed as a gift.

This morning those little blessings of mine were awake at 4 am. I must admit that when it feels like the middle of the night and everyone is awake, it is very difficult for me to treat my little blessings, like, well, little blessings. But when I left for work they were still awake, and they were happy. Happy little ones is all a Mommy can ask for.

Nicholas is hard at work today too. I was thinking of that last night. A few months ago I would have given anything for him to be back to work, and then when he is I feel lonely and sad that he's not there. What in the world is wrong with me? Why am I always so discontent about everything? Take this weekend for an example. Nicholas has worked all weekend and of course I am busy making plans. He thinks he may have an opportunity to work overtime this weekend which he must do to provide for us (that is our plan at least!). No sooner do I hear this then I am upset and sad that we can't do the things we were talking about. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

So here is what I am doing. I am going to change. I know, shocking, right?

I am going to be joyful and happy in all things! That is something I want my children to pick up and those are traits I want them to carry with them all through life. Plus the Bible tells us to be joyful! How can I talk about how God has so richly blessed us and how AWESOME He is if I am down in the dumps about everything?

1 Thessalonians 5:15-17 tells us:

"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
Be joyful always; pray continually;"

And so this will be my new life. How can I be grumpy or mad or sad if I am making it a point to be happy and joyful?

Will you jump on the joyful train with me? Will you make that promise to always try to find the good in every situation? To be happy when your old self probably wouldn't have been?

Love Them!

Here's the latest picture of our absolutely adorable children...don't you just want to eat their faces off? They are just so cute! I love them so much and I am so lucky to be their Mommy! They don't want anyone but me to be their Mommy and that is an amazing feeling!

How are things going on your end? Things here are going well. I was really proud of myself because I got my to-do list done yesterday! I am trying to make our home office upstairs on the third floor rather than where it is now which is in our guest room. So I think I have that almost all put together which is nice. I am excited about it because it is light and cute and cheery. I think I will be really happy up there. I am also excited with how it is set up that I have a somewhat L-Shaped set up with a desk that holds everything on one side with the printer and everything else, and on the other side is a big table for my workspace. I like that I can do officey kind of stuff on it or scrapbooking, gift wrapping, organizing, and what not. That was what I wanted was a big space I could do anything on and then have somewhere to put the stuff away and have the space clear again.

Laundry I have decided is an on-going process. I think I may have lost the battle. But I got some done and some folding done which to me is progress.

I got everyone called I needed to and the children and I had a lot of fun yesterday.

Today Emma is going with her Grandma down to her house and I think they are going to be doing a little bit of scrapbooking! How fun does that sound? Cal and I will have time alone together and I am hoping he will take a good nap for me (please note that I am not counting on this. at all. )

Have a good day!

Tuesday

In case you have lost track I now have to go to work only 8 more times! How exciting is that? We are slllloooowwwwllllyyyy closing in on the end of the week and before we know it I will be in the last week of working! The children are still getting up every morning between 4:30 and 5:00, crying that I am leaving. That makes for some very sleepy children and a very guilt-ridden Mommy. I cannot wait for that cycle to end. My little darlings need their rest.

Emma is also having a hard time going to sleep. Last night she cried herself to sleep and when I asked her what was wrong the poor dear said "I'm just so sad you have to go to work tomorrow". That is such a hard thing to hear. To know that I am the reason my poor Angel's heart is breaking.

I only work until 10 today which is super exciting for me because I have a to-do list that is about a mile long waiting for me at home. Nothing that HAS to be done, just things I am wanting to concentrate on. What are you working on today?

Here's my list:
Return telephone call from my Grandma
Call the ladies for the Valentine's Day party
Laundry
Clean 3rd floor and get tidy!
workout during naptime!

Have a great day!

YAWN

So I am at work and am so bored. Did I mention I only have to go to work 9 more times? How exciting is that? We are in the single digits!

I thought I would just use this blog entry to just randomly write about whatever comes to mind. Its my blog so I can do that!

We had such a great weekend! I truly in love with my husband! He is such an amazing man who actually loves me and wants me to be happy. I don't think there is anything better than having someone like that in your life. This weekend we went out with friends and we all had such an amazing time. Nick makes everyone laugh and I feel so blessed to be his wife when I can look around the table and everyone is laughing so hard they can't breathe because of something he said. I am just so stinkin' lucky! He honestly still give me butterflies and we have been married for almost seven years.

I am thinking of painting my dressing room with red and pink stripes. Do you think that would look too much like the inside of a circus tent?

Our remodel in the living room has starte and oh my goodness how excited I am to see the finished product! It is just going to look amazing! Nick has patched some of the areas in the walls and then this next weekend we are drywalling some areas. After that it will be a matter of sanding and then we can paint! I think I am going with a sage green for the entire room except for the alcove where the tv and fireplace are. In there I think I am going to make it a darker green. Don't worry...I'll take pictures to show you our progress!

I usually am not one of those people who gets tired of winter but I AM SO TIRED OF WINTER!

My son is the most handsome little boy. I want to eat his face off.

Alright, I think that's it for now.

Winding Down

Well as the kids are well aware, I only go to work 9 more times! How exciting is that? Things here are going well. We FINALLY got Nick's first paycheck this last Friday and once again were shown how truly great is our God! We should be just fine! Yahoo! I have noticed lately that one of my huge stressors lately has been money. I am always worried if we will have enough, are we contributing enough into savings? Retirement? College funds? Ugh, sometimes the stress can be overwhelming. So I am going to try to let it go.

When I want something I think of if I REALLY need it. Most of the time the answer is no. I was at TJ Maxx and saw Mrs. Meyers in the baby scent. I wanted it...bad. Do I need more cleaning products? That would be a huge n to the o. So I passed. Old Navy had huge clearance on sweaters. Do I need more sweaters? N to the o again! So I passed and it felt invigorating!

I did need new sneakers. So I made sure to not just run out and buy the first pair I wanted. I reseached what I wanted and then I searched and searched for the best price. I actually found the best price for my new New Balance 720's to be on NewBalance.com! Just a tip! I would have guessed the best price would have been on some deep discount website or at a bargain bin type of store, not the company's website but alas I was wrong so I am so, so happy that I tried all venues.

When researching I have been thinking on Proverbs 31. Verse 11 tells us that the noble wife's husband has full confidence in her. I want Nick to have full confidence in me and to know that I make the best decisions. Verse 16 tells us that "she considers a field and buys it"...okay I know I am not investing in real estate or anything but I guess my thinking here is that whatever decisions deal with our money...I need to be prayerfully considering them and making good investments...not just throwing money away.

Another thing I have been doing to help me not to be so stressed about money is to avoid things that make me feel like we don't have any money. What am I talking about? Well for one example, jewelry ads that come in the mail around this time. All those things do is to make me want things I don't need and that we can't afford. They also tend to make me a little mad at old-what's-his-face, who happens to not really be the jewelry giving guy. And you know what? I am okay with that (as of right now!). Another thing that makes me covet is when I web surf...gap, vickie's...they call my name. And before long I have convinced myself that I need ALL of this stuff...and when I can't have it I get upset and look around uncontentedly at what I do have. That's not what God calls us to do.

So as I wind down working I am also hoping to wind down my attachment to consumerism. I think I will always secretly want a new Coach Bag, or new Choos, but I am hoping to squelch those things and be able to focus on what really matters...my precious darlings I get to take care of and my amazing husband who (with God's help of course!) is making that happen!

My Baby!

Since I posted a Baby Emma photo I thought it only fitting to post some of Calvin. How cute was this kid? Is this kid? I have the most beautiful children, honestly. Nick read somewhere and I have heard it too, that kids born with one parent of Asian descent are the most adorable. And see? My children are living proof of that!

Calvin was just such a peeny little guy and I just want to eat him up in these pictures. I think this was Cal's first time at the zoo.

I miss those days! I am so excited that I will be staying home so hopefully I will be able to savor them even more!

I'm a Proud Mommy

Look at this chubby little bunny of mine! I can barely remember Emma being this small! But she was and was the best. I love her so much and now she is an adorable 3 year old who I could not be prouder of!

We had her parent-teacher conference at her school and she is in the top of her class! She knows all of her uppercase letters, almost all of her lower case letters, and can count to 13. I love her so much! I especially enjoyed hearing how much the teachers like her. They just went on and on about what a joy she is and how funny she is and how she gets so excited when telling stories.

I just love Em so much and am so proud of her and how smart she is! I am so lucky to be her Mommy!

For the Love of God Just Trust in the Lord

When I gave my notice at work (13 more days to work by the way) I felt confident and had faith in God that we are going to be okay. We really feel I am supposed to be at home. The timing really fits within our family and other aspects.

Yet here I am having doubt. To be honest I have had doubt almost every day. I think of something I hadn't thought of before (or to be honest HAD thought of when planning all of this but haven't thought of it in a while so forgot I had thought of it...yes I know I'm pathetic) and start having a mini-panic attack. I think "has Nick thought of this? If he hasn't, does he still want me to quit work? Could I get my job back? What are we going to do if this doesn't work, what, what?" Yes please try to keep the giggling to a minimum at what a GIGANTIC spaz I am.

I know that God is watching out for us. We have savings and we should be okay. My little sidenote here is that I think us having savings at this point is somewhat incredible after the last 5 months we've been through. Still I fail to see the big picture of how God provides. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

So I get out my excel budget and I type away on the numbers. Have I mentioned we still have not gotten a Nick pay check? Yes I did in fact quit my job without knowing the exact amount of take home pay my husband will have. Maybe that is a stressor here. Because this is SOOOO not like me. I think once I see that paycheck and can do the math and figure it out, then I will feel better.

But why don't I feel at least settled now? Why can't I see that God has had His hand in this thing the whole time? Why do I rely on things like "if I could just talk to Nick about this RIGHT this second" or "if I can just plug in the numbers and see that we are going to be okay"? Why do I do that? Why don't I rely on this HUGE God who loves me, who created the universe, who has storehouses of snow, yet knows how many hairs I have on my head (and how many of those have gone gray)? Why don't I?

Because I am human. Because I like having control. Even if its the power over my emotions. I can choose to freak out if I don't have faith.

So I am putting the freaking-out-pack on the shelf. School's out and I just don't need it anymore. I've got God watching my back. After all He gave me two ovaries so if things get really bad we've got SOMETHING to sell on the black market! :)

Summoning my Housewife Energies

Today I am needing to summon all of my housewife energies. I have been so sick these past few days and am finally starting to feel that I am on the mend. Before this Nick was asking me if I needed him to take me to the hospital because I was just not improving at all!

So today I am needing to play some catch up. I am determined to get our house back into order and get us all feeling like we are back up and running. I am making green beans, meatloaf, and mashed potatoes for dinner. We are going to be on a schedule all day, and by golly I am going to get the laundry done and put away.

What are you trying to accomplish today?

Beautiful Girl

I don't know what happened but somehow my chubby, adorable little baby has turned into this adorable little girl. Isn't she just the cutest little thing you've ever seen? Oh my goodness I want to just eat her up. She is so cute. and smart. and funny. Lately everything is her motto. I don't think she knows what motto means but everything is one to her. I'll say "can you please get up at the table for dinner?" and she'll say "get up to the table, that's my motto!" So stinking cute. I am loving being the Mommy to this little girl. She is funny and quirky and just perfect! Mommy loves you baby girl!

The Beginning

Match.com has had these commercials asking "what is your beginning?" and I love thinking of our beginning. I don't tell many people because it is a somewhat complex story. There was no story of how we reached for the same breadstick in the cafeteria line and we knew we were meant to be. But our story is us. Its sticky and complex. Its funny and quirky. Its a story that is funny. Its a story where we should never have even been remotely in the same place...but God made it work.

I think all of those things basically describe us. And our marriage.

Nick said I dwell too much in the past. He thinks that because I love our beginning so much that I must not be happy with the now. Which totally is not true. I love our now. I have loved every single moment. But the beginning is fun because I remember how I felt when I first laid eyes on that man. How we would stay up for hours in the cafeteria talking. How he kissed me on the cheek when he left one time. How I felt butterflies for him. How I still do.

So those things are what I remember of our beginning. What is best about your beginning?

So sexy

This is one of my favorite pictures. We were on vacation when Cal conked out on Nick during an exciting round of miniature golf. There is nothing sexier than a cute tan husband holding my precious little boy. Boy howdy what a lucky girl I am. Did I mention this is the same hottie that is doing everything he has to to make sure I can stay at home? How on Earth did I get so lucky?

I gave notice

I went to work today and gave notice! I am so super excited! February 12th will be my last day at work and then I will be a Stay at Home Mommy! I think one of the things I am most excited about is that a girl at work told me I remind her of Laura Petrie from the Dick VanDyke show...how cute is that?

So thank you everyone for your prayers. We feel like we need to do this for our family whether it makes sense financially or not. We know we can make ends meet and we are simply hoping that we will be able to do more than simply make ends meet.

Have a great day! :)

Always clean up after yourself

Last night I couldn't sleep so I decided to treat myself to a bath. Ahhhh. I mixed in some lavendar salts I have that have lavendar blossoms mixed in. As wonderful as they are they do make quite a mess in the tub. Well when the bath was over I was sleepy so I decided to clean the tub in the morning.

What I didn't expect to wake up to was Calvin throwing up in the middle of the night and needing a bath. Bleary eyed I tried to keep all of the little twig thingys off him. Nick came in the bathroom and said "what the heck is that?" I guess this goes to show you should always clean up after yourself because you never know what is going to happen.

Calvin threw up 3 more times after that. I think I have washed every blanket, pillow, and pajama that our little house stores. Thankfully he fell asleep about 4 am and woke up at 7 seeming okay sans not wanting to eat. My poor little guy who can't talk had an especially difficult time trying to tell me he was going to be sick.

So anyway, I am going to take a nap right now.... :)

I could use some prayer

Please be praying for me. Tonight is Sunday and tomorrow I have the day off. We are pretty positive that I will be putting my notice in at work when I return on Tuesday. Things around here have been kind of bad. When we thought the only way Nick would return to work was to move, Nick promised Emma that when he went back to work Mommy would get to stay home. Because that isn't true (yet) Emma has cried every night, woken up in the middle of the night begging me to stay home, and even woken up when I am leaving to try to get me to stay home.

Friday was my breaking point. I had a realization at work between looking at my agenda and calling our hospital that I was going to need time off. Time off I was pretty darn sure I wasn't going to get. When I got home I came to two notes from Emma's preschool. One being that our parent-teacher conference was in the morning in a week and she was having a field trip. Two more things probably not going to get time off for.

On top of that when I called the hospital to find out about Calvin's appointment, they wanted me to start setting up his occupational therapy appointments. And I couldn't. I didn't know when I was available and when Nick was available and on and on. I mean, I am putting off Calvin developing because of this stupid, stupid job. I am sick of it. I don't make enough for this to be worth it. I am missing out on my children's childhoods and those are things that will never, ever be back once they are gone.

And so I beg you for prayer. I want to make sure I am doing God's will. Gosh it feels like it but I want to be sure, you know? Please pray. please comment with your opinions, I could use them. And a huge thank you in advance! :)

My man

I don't know if I have ever posted this picture or not but this is my favorite picture of Nick. What a hottie! I am so lucky and blessed to be the woman at his side. Yesterday as a recap to the chewing post. I sent him a nice text message at work describing how I would kill him if he chewed. Some people would take that the wrong way and get their back up but not my man. He gets me. We had a nice evening last night as a family except for the fact that we are all sick, I think I want to die sick, Emma kind of freaked out screaming, and I had to make a last minute run to Target. Other than that we were doing great.

Speaking of the great Emma freak out of 2010 please keep Emma in your prayers. She has been really, really upset that I am still having to work. And while it is very much a short term goal for me to be able to quit work, we just aren't there yet. Try explaining that to a 3 year old and you'll have another screaming fit I am sure.

Anyway its been a harrowing week in our hoursehold and it will be so nice to have us all home and cuddling up on the couch. Happy Friday!

You Give Me Fever

Since my tiny little baby has turned two geesh how I have had some baby fever. Errr that is frustrating! I love the baby smell and the baby feel and the baby nuzzle. But then I guess I can remember how I don't miss the having to lug 25 pounds of gear every single place I went. I think of how tiring the days were after being up all night long scared to death the they wouldn't make it through the night with their little coughs and raspy breaths. I think of how awful I felt after my c-section...how I felt I was going to die right then and there. I think back to had I had zero time, scratch that and make that a negative amount of time, to get anything done...showering, cleaning, talking, thinking, sleeping, eating, working out, laundry, anything.

Once I think of those things then the fever of baby want seems to be reduced and I can look around and be happy for the way things are. I am happy I still have a little boy that loves to snuggle into me. He is all to eager to offer a chubby little cheek for kisses and I can still get both of my children to giggle with even the most gentle tickling.

Chew

So after listening to a about a half hour story of why I should let my husband begin chewing again (tobacco, not food as he always does that)...I am here to say that it is not allowed. I seriously almost dumped him when we first started dating because he lied to me about this...and here we are back at it. I see we've come first circle, great. He says hes stressed so he needs to. Here are a list of things you can resort to when you are stressed that will not cause me to divorce you:

Chocolate
A hot bath
a massage
SEX
a glass of wine
talking to your wife
exercise
talking to your wife
friends
having a pet
having a hobby
talking to your wife
counting your blessings
talking to your wife

I think I have proven my point that there are other things that will alleviate stress other than chewing, which is gross and nasty. If I wanted gross and nasty I would have married that boy in the 5th grade that would pick his nose and wipe it on the side of the bus...ew and gross.

Thank you and good night!

6:19 in the am

Yes that is what time it is. I have laundry folded, bed made, house tidied, lunch made, dinner planned, workout done, and am now ready to go to work. Dragging my ugly old self out of bed at 4 am is nearly impossible but when it happens its amazing how much better I feel during the day simply because of all I accomplished.

Emma is sick today, please be praying for her. She woke up all through the night begging me to hold her. How can you say no to that? So I would scoop her up and rock her and rock her. Once she looked asleep so I stopped rocking. That's when she looked up at me and asked "are you EVER going to put me back in bed or what?" ah what a moment!

She is such an angel. Last night I was explaining to her that God designed her and made her just perfect. Her response? "I'm a bad girl, I'm not perfect, I have such a bad attitude". I think in trying to correct her in things we have made her feel like this, and I feel like such a bad Mommy! So things will definitely be changing around here, starting now. If you walked around feeling like a bad girl how could you help it but to not have a bad attitude?

Well that is it for now. Off to walk the dog. Hopefully all coyotes or wolves or vampires are hibernating. Yikes. Have a good day!

Tuesday

Well here it is Tuesday already. Can I please tell you how much I HATE my job? There I said it. Ah, that feels better.
For the love of all things that are holy can I PLEASE just stay home with these precious little babies? I just wish it were possible. We have a goal of that being possible in approximately 3 1/2 months but if in fact that can really happen is anyone's guess. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I just wish I KNEW, you know? I think just being able to know that there is an end in sight, a light at the end of the tunnel, a ray of sunshine, I think just knowing that would make things so much more bearable for me. Instead the unknown weighs me down like a snow storm coming to unfurl all its got on me...oh great.
Nick has started 12 hour days. I can't remember if I told you this or not (and frankly am too lazy to look it up right now) but he eventually will be working 12 hour days on 3rd shift...doesn't that sound like a jolly good time? However right now he is working 12 hour days monday through friday until he gets through training.
He said its boring. I hate not talking to him. I feel lonely and depleted. He's my other half. It would be like if you had to duct tape your left arm behind you for 12 hours...I mean it would just suck.
Anyway, I guess the day went well yesterday...it was only his first day so I am trying not to judge. After all everyone's first days suck, right? But I didn't get to see him due to scheduling conflicts until well past 6:30 and even then it felt more utilitarian than anything. Here's your dinner, go walk the dog, lets go to bed.
I am hoping this is not going to be life as we now know it. It can't be, can it? Please someone out there in the wide, wide world of sports please tell me that its not.
In other news I over slept today and awoke with something seriously stuck in my hair. I still have not deciphered what it was. I didn't wash my hair today because of the running late...I'm not ashamed to say it. I pulled the hair that takes 2 hours to style into a ponytail to hide the mattedness of it...later I cut the mattedness out in a storage room and kept the hair in my pocket for further analysis...again not ashamed. The only thing I can figure out is I slept drove to the store, purchased some blue frosting, ate blue frosting, and then smeared said frosting all over the under part of the back of my head. I then turned off my alarm and went back to sleep, where I managed to over sleep until 30 minutes before work began. Plausable, right?
Well I think that is it for now. I think my other number one question right now would be why in God's name doesn't Emma EVER wake up right from a nap? Its either with screaming "I'M AWAKE!" or she is catapulting something out of her bed in order to smack one wall or another. Ah, joy, off to see what she threw today.

Happy Sunday!

Hope you all are having a great Sunday! We so enjoyed having friends and family over yesterday for Cal's party. Today we have enjoyed one another's company and the sun. Hope you are enjoying this Lord's Day as much as we are!

My Day

Praise the Lord, its sunny outside! That always helps to boost your spirits doesn't it? How are things in your neck of the woods? Things here are going great. I am finishing up work and everything for Cal's Birthday party. I think the whole thing of getting the house ready is a little more complicated because we haven't gotten all of the Christmas decorations put away. So we are stumbling over boxes while cleaning while putting things away.
I have to tell you guys, I wore my Woolrich vest today with a scarf around my throat. I feel very tre chic today. Amazing how scarves can make you feel pulled together, isn't it?
Nick and I had one of the worst days ever. We were at one anothers throats from about 5:15 in the morning on. But we went to bed together and happy and that is all I can ask for as a wife. Amazing that God gives us do overs, isn't it? I wish Nick could give me one because I sure screwed up yesterday.
Well that is about it that is on my mind. Hope you all are having a good one. Just remember to give a thanks to the one who gave us this sunshine.

Happy Birthday Little Man

Yesterday was Cal's 2nd Birthday. I am sitting here feeling kind of sad even though it was such a joyous day. I no longer have any babies. I am now the mother of two preschoolers. Two precious preschoolers which I am so blessed to have.
I am also so happy that he made it to Two! Falls down the stairs, seizures, neurological disorders, fingers getting slammed in the door, falling off the porch headfirst into a pile of snow...he made it through all of these things. We didn't kill him!
And just look at his picture. He is the happiest little boy. He smiles for everyone. He is so sweet and kind. He has a huge heart. He is a genius! I just love this kid.
So Happy Birthday my little prince. I love you so much.

So long tree

We undecorated the Christmas tree this afternoon and now it is sitting alone out on the curb. I hate undecorating the house. It always reminds me that Christmas is over and that sucks! This was the first Christmas that we all could enjoy and now it is over. I know, I know I am being silly. But it is over and again...sucksville.
However I am super excited that I got a kicking deal on some Christmas gifts for next year and that has gotten the ball rolling for me thinking of other things that I could get people.
Plus I found a super cute sweater turleneck for only $5.00. Can't beat being super cute for 5 bucks, right? Let's see what else happened today. Calvin was super snuggly on his way home from the car and I just ate it up. After all I was making an apple pie at this EXACT time two years ago (time is 8:31) when I went into labor. Don't worry...Nick made sure I had the pie done and in the oven before he would take me to the hospital. Heehee. Don't you just love him?
My new slippers came and I love them! My new shoes came and were too big but my sexy knee length, long sleeved nightgown came and I heart that thing to death. So good day. How about you?

Simplicity

As I was putting groceries away last evening I had to stop and marvel at some things: the way an avocado feels so firm in my hand and then eases so gently when its ripe. the shape of a mushroom, the smell of strawberries.
I think sometimes I am moving so quickly that I forget to notice and to thank God for the beauty in even the simple things. I need to focus more on the simplicity of everything rather than wanting more and better things.
Make sure you stop and enjoy the simple things in your life. Here are some of the simple things right now I am thankful for:
Nick's smile when I kiss him goodbye
The soft breath of Calvin and Emma on my cheek when I check on them at night.
The smell of strawberries (again I know, but I can't get over it)
The peacefulnes that a snowfall brings

What are the simple things you are thankful for?

A Week in Pictures

Here's the way this last week looked.

We did a little sledding at our neighborhood hill, which I LOVE: As you can see they loved to sled. Then we went to Lowes. What do you do when you're bored with Lowes? You're silly of course!
And maybe a little contemplative of if your family MIGHT have gone off the deep end. Especially when you look in the rearview mirror to see....


'Sup?
And then there's our little diva, Miss Kazoo

Also we are not really keeping Gingerbread house kind of people...
We also like to play dress up althought to Aunt Jan's chagrin, this is no dress...
I have no idea what in the world is going on here. Do I even try to ask?


So that's us in a nutshell. Enjoy!

Julie/Julia

Have you seen this movie? Cute. As much as I would love to cook 584 recipes in one year I know before even starting out that this would never be able to happen. That is unless I completely shirked my responsibilities at home and forgot which kids were mine. But alas I am not up to the challenge. The movie did however inspire me to do something I have been wanting to do for a long, long time.

I am going to read "The joy of cooking" from the front cover to the back. A dear friend of mine gave me this cookbook as a wedding gift and ever since it has enticed me ever time I open it. There is history on food, how to properly set a table, and all kinds of other things. I feel like I will be a better cook and a better person after I have read this book.

I have also been inspired to create a kitchen I love. I am just not feeling my kitchen cabinets lately. So Nick and I talked and we are going to paint them. I lovely creamy ivory which I think will look great with some new hardware. The kitchen is the place I am the most. Why not make everything beautiul?

Someone once told me when we first married to not have anything in your house that doesn't bring you joy. How true is that? So that is what I am striving for. And I think I will start in the kitchen.

2010

The first Monday of the year. These past three days have simply been tied into the holiday season and to me this is it...the first day of the new year. Things have started pretty much as planned. I awoke at 4 am to work out and was extremely proud of myself. I also woke up at approximately 1:58 to pee and then had an Emma talking in her sleep to contend with. But I woke up for sure at 4, worked out and made breakfast for myself. A healthy peek-a-boo egg which would have been healthy had I not burned every nutrient out of it possible. But I ate it anyway despite the health risks involved. I ate it on this lovely plate I have which is a set of 4 and each has a Victorian home on it. Ah, how I love those. And of course my coffee cup which is embarrassing that it is a promotional product for the area airport that Nicholas received at his former job. But I digree and now sit happily here wasting time away in the wee hours of the morning, with a full tummy and ears full of Emma apparently still talking in her sleep.

This past weekend was one of the best ones in my life. You see Nicholas had promised me a vacation when he became reemployed. Super exciting. However going from spending virtually nothing to hundreds of dollars on a vacation for just him and I seemed somewhat of a culture shock to me. So I suggested a staycation. Nick's mom took the kids and had them overnight. This was also the first time they have ever stayed over anywhere without us so we figured it was a good time to do it since we were in town if needed. Anyway, Friday we dropped the children off and then did shopping. We didn't go crazy or anything but my how good it felt to purchase something I liked. Wow. Some good deals I found were that we used a coupon at Old Navy and managed to get Nick two shirts, and for me a sweater and a sleep mask and we paid $3.58. Not bad. I also got a silver serving platter for a steal and a 3-pack of curling irons for $8.00....oh how we scored!

We went to Olive Garden for lunch which was the best meal I've had in a long time. Had a wine there, a Moscato, that I now heart and want to bathe in. But they don't sell it along here so alas, I guess I won't. :( At night we did some more shopping and then went to a cute renovated theater and saw "It's Complicated" in which I threatened Nick with death if he ever cheated on me after 20 years. I think I said something like "I know people throw around I would kill you, but seriously if you did that...I WOULD KILL YOU. I mean you'd better run." heehee. Then we got to do something we have not done since 2005. We slept in our house...alone...and we slept past 7:30. Wow. I had completely forgotten what it feels like to be rested. Geesh how spoiled am I now?

That morning we went back out for breakfast at Panera. Nick tried a souffle and LOVED it so I now have the green light to make those. Score! Super and unabashedly excited about that. Then we did some more shopping and just had a lovely time. Nick took me home and went to get the children. I cleaned to the sound of Pop's greatest hits and let me tell you I has THE best time cleaning. The children came home to a super clean home and a happy and rested Mommy.

That night we dined on Chinese food which the kids love! We rented Julie and Julia for when the children were asleep and we opened our last bottle of wine from our vacation last year. We were saving it for a special occassion. So opening it made it real that we are now employed again and everything seems right in the world. Besides I think being blissfully in love and better than before after this crisis we had been in...I think that is a cause for celebration in its own right, don't you?

Oh and I forgot...Saturday night we took the children to play in the snow. Oh how they loved it and how much fun we had being silly. I am so lucky to have these silly and wonderful children in my life. God has blessed me so far past my expectations.

So here's to a 2010 that is going to be amazing. I know because I serve a God who is, well...AMAZING!

A Gigantic Thank You

I would just like to say a huge, gigantic Thank you to all of our friends and family. Your generosity and kindness has been so overwhelming: through all of this phase of our lives but especially at Christmas.

Our children have so much because of how freely you all give. We were kind of scared that that children wouldn’t have a Christmas. I know that is stupid but I guess that was just one of the thoughts going through this. Not only did they have a Christmas but they had an amazing Christmas. And you all gave us an amazing Christmas as well.

When you exchange gifts you sometimes start to feel like you are just getting a gift because you gave a gift and vice versa. But when you have nothing to give and someone gives you something, your heart is really attuned to how much people love and care for you. Things like a Victoria’s Secret Gift Card, a cookie book teaching me how to decorate a cookie to look like a leisure suit, and a handpainted ornament that is a duplicate of a cherished ornament that was broken. Those are the things that break down your heart and make you realize just how loved you are.

So anyway, thank you so much. It means the world to us that you care for us and our children. We would be nothing without the people that God has chosen to be in our lives.

Sleeping Alone

Nick’s new job is going to be different for a while because he is going to be working 12 hours a day from 5pm to 5am…ouch. He will work some crazy schedule of 2 days on, 2 days off and other patterns that I don’t quite understand yet.

At first I was really quite upset about the prospect of my husband being away from home for that long and at night but now (secretly) I am getting a tiny bit excited. Here are some of the reasons why:

Socks…I love to wear socks to bed but Nick hates it when I do, so I don’t. Guess who will be wearing socks to bed now?

Hitting the Hay…he by no way makes me or anything but a lot of times I stay up later than I should so I can spend time with Nick alone. I am hoping that the nights Nick works I will be able to get myself to bed at about 9 and have a restful night’s sleep.

Scary Face…remember the face you went to bed with before there was someone else in your bed? I am talking the curlers in your hair, noxema all over, that face you sported? Well I will be able to wear the scary face again…provided no little children need me who are going to be scared out of their mind.

Snowman pj’s…when you come to bed wearing purple thermal pajamas with giant snowmen on them, it kind of kills any mood of intimacy there might have been…now I can wear them whenever I want!

As much as these things sound so exciting (not) and luxurious (not) I am going to miss my man so much. There is nothing better than falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves you as much as you love them. I love how he watches television and twirls my hair. I love that we have only ever known one another so intimately and ever will only know one another.

I am going to miss him when he is at work but I am sure it will make falling asleep next to him that much sweeter when he gets to be at home. :)

Changes

Sorry I have been so distant lately. In case you haven’t noticed, its Christmas time. I have been busy having tons of fun with my loved ones. I am refusing to let Christmas die already. Its still the Christmas season, by golly.

Anyway I have some HUGE news…Nick got a job! And he is actually really excited about it. Plus we don’t have to move and he should be making as much as he was before which is fantastic!

But I have noticed that I do this every time. When I have no control over anything I lean solely on God. I think “God will bring us out of this.” And of course he does because He is God and is amazing. But I give God the glory and praise Him for about 5 minutes and then I am off to go and worry. Yes God gave us a job but I am here worrying about “will we have enough money?” and “do you think we will be able to get that new thing I really want?” and yet here I am worrying…again. Its then I feel a little tap on my shoulder from God saying “um, excuse me? Remember me? Guy who’s brought you out of this crap? Yeah, I can take care of money stuff too. Its no big thing. Just trust” And there it is again, that word. Trust. I need to trust. Please God help me to trust. Please forgive me for not trusting you. Help me. Because even if I feel like we now are back in control the truth of the matter is that we never have any control. God...He has the control.

So those are the changes in our lives. God has protected us and brought us through the storm. That is something that will always be unchanging. I am hoping that this year though I can be changing and learn to trust that God will provide for us and keep us safe.

Random Thoughts While Sitting At Work

How much time is it going to take for me to wrap all of the presents tonight?

How much wrapping paper is it going to take for me to wrap a guitar?

What is going to quiet the rumbling in my tummy?

Do you ever have those times when you realize you've had to pee for a really long time and nothing was keeping you from going to the bathroom you just kind of got used to the feeling of having to go? I do that ALL the time!

My children are the greatest kids ever!

I have the best husband ever! He is sweet, sensitive, patient, hilarious, sexy, and so freaking awesome. Did I mention he's a former tux model?

Do short people have reason to live?

How cute are my boots?

Super excited for my Aunt to get here! Get here lady, get here!

I think my Dog's on Crack

Okay, that's all for now. Thanks!

Gingerbread House!

This past weekend we made our gingerbread house. I think it turned out really cute, don't you? Emma had a side and I had a side to decorate and we had soooo much fun! We spent next to nothing extra on supplies as we already had everything so it was a great event to do. I think this will be going into our family's lineup of things to do every Christmas. And hopefully next year Calvin will be able to participate and won't try to karate chop our house like he wanted to this year! Emma is so cute, has such good ideas, and is so fun to work with! I am so blessed to have such a great little girl!