Cleaning the Ins and Outs of Me and the House

As Summer has crept in I have noticed my laziness growing.  After all it is hot and humid and these are supposed to be the days when you are out of school and able to throw some of your grown up inhibition to the wind, right?

Unfortunately I also find that my wanting to be a free spirit somehow contradicts itself.  I don't want to go to the gym because I don't want to be kept indoors when it is so beautiful outside. I don't want to go running because it is too hot and sticky...see what I mean about contradictory?  I don't want to clean because there are so many more fun things to do with the kiddos but then I don't go outside with the kiddos as much as I should because there is just so much to do around the house.  Grrrr.

However I find that during quiet time I sit down at the computer to pinterest away at pinning: cleaning tips for cleaning I am not doing, workouts I am not doing, and recipes I am not making.  And before I know it my free time is gone and I have accomplished very little to feel satisfaction about.

Yes I know  I sound lazy because in these past few weeks I have been incredibly lazy!!!!

So today it hit me as I was playing with the kiddos outside and working out in the yard...

What would our yard look like if I took just 10 minutes every day to work out here?  Weeding, picking up sticks, and in general tidying up may not be so daunting if I did a little bit every day.

And in that I thought what if that and my cleaning (which I also felt convicted to do after applying my few minutes a day rule to cleaning roo) were my workout too?

To test it out I cleaned the  bathroom today.  And in doing that I am not talking my normal cleaning of I got out a clorox wipe and dabbed around a bit but that I did a hard core cleaning.  Scrubbing the walls, toothbrushing grout, I was all over the grossness of getting the grody out of the loo.  And in doing that I found myself panting, sweating and using muscles that haven't been used in July yet.

So that is my plan for the summer.  Cleaning up the inside and outside of this house to get myself cleaned up.  We'll see how this goes :)  I think it's going to be a messy job!

Sleep Deprived and Loving It

Yesterday was our second day of homeschool.  Already I am exhausted.  We schooled at Panera, picked up Cal, had a quick lunch, continued on with school, and then had some quiet time, which consisted of laundry and cooking and cleaning.  After quiet time was over we headed out to walk the dog, then came back home to get some more cleaning done and make dinner.  After dinner we took the kids to the nearby riverwalk to ride their bikes, and then it was home to put kiddos to bed.  Usually I am kind of happy after putting the kids to bed because that is when alone time with Nick starts. 

N to the No last night.  Last night I tucked the kids in feeling like I was just getting started.  As I had to get things put into workboxes for today, pack up our school bag to do school at therapy, rearrange the books on our new bookshelf (totally not necessary I was just trying to be psycho apparently), pay bills, clean the kitchen from dinner, and on and on and on....

I feel like I am buring my candle at both ends.  There's just no way that I can wake up at 4:00 in the morning and try to go to bed at midnight.  I don't think it's going to work. 

On top of that my adorable annoying husband loves to snore, so when I do go to bed about 50% of the time I cannot sleep at all.  Every morning after a night of no sleep because of his ridiculousness I am fed the same lie..."I'll go to the doctor and get some help."  But it has not happened.  Ugh. 

For the past four years I was up MULTIPLE times with Cal as he couldn't sleep.  We started him on medication that helped his sleep in June. 

In July Nick started to snore. 

Ah, pure bliss that month of sleep I got (read my dry horrid sarcasm here). 

So slowly but surely these guys in my life are trying to kill me.  Some type of old chinese torture technique I suppose.  Or nazi. 

That's what I get for marrying a man of German descent. Oh great. 

Cause of death? 

Lack of sleep.  Hahaha.  They'll dance on my grave.   It will be some type of Oktoberfest celebration, I'm sure. 

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes.  So two days into school and I am already exhausted.  My solutions have been to hire a cleaning lady.  Or to run away from home.  Maybe both.  Irony always gets the last word my friends. 

Sorry, this makes no sense.  I am tired.  And I think my shoes are tied too tight.  My brain is sending all of my blood to my feet in an effort for them to not be cauterized or something.  If I knew how to do spell check on this new computer I would spell check cauterize.  But I don't.  And my blood is in my feet. 

So now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go teach my children.  I'm sure you're glad that I am in charge of their education right about now, right? 

 

Random Thoughts that a Monday Afternoon Produces...

Homeschooling is done, the children are napping, and I find myself with the devil and angel on my shoulders...

Relax!

Get to work! 

So I did...kind of. 

I ordered these jeans from Lands' End for Nick...cute right?  They are 14.99 on clearance and if you use the promotion code "Discover" with the number 6956 you'll get an additional 25% off and free shipping (no minimum required)!  Awesome, huh?  Thanks Money Saving Mom for, well, saving this Mom some Money!

A side note is, if you don't shop at Lands' End then I really recommend that you do.  They are always having super great bargains!  And they stand behind the quality of their products which is something I love and respect about them.  I buy almost all of my clothes from there and I love them!  I also love that they are sold at Sears so I can find some super great bargains there and I can return something there if it doesn't work out...none of the having to mail it back business! 

I also spent a lot of time on the phone which I hate doing but sometimes it just can't be helped.  Nick and I's debit cards expired in August but weren't replaced. Weird, we haven't had debit cards.  Well we got them...we got 4 cards total...all with different numbers.  So now which ones are we to use?  I was a little frustrated that the girl told me to take them ALL to the ATM and try to use our old pin numbers as they should be  the same.  At that point I was so frustrated I just said "okay".  Okay not meaning okay but rather meaning, I'm making my husband call about this...

My final call was to the Parks Department of our City.  Again, frustrated with them.  I have spoken numerous times with the lady in charge there about getting our neighborhood's park playground equipment updated.  She assured me in the Spring that something would be done, but now it is officially Autumn and nothing has been done.  I try to think that it would be nice to have it done, but it's nothing that I'm owed or something. But then when I think that we pay taxes and should be able to ENJOY our park, then I get a little torked off.  Is that how you spell torked???   I also spoke to someone about the tennis courts in our neighborhood.  We have some wicked nice tennis courts, let me tell you.  No exagerating people come from all over the country to play on our courts.  But for us common folk they are hardly ever open.  And I have a couple of kiddos who just want their Daddy to teach them how to play.  So I was on the phone with them for that.  Apparently you have to ask about 7.25 people before you find someone who knows about tennis courts.  Weird, wild stuff going on around here. 

My final question/random thought here as I ramble on has to do with homeschooling.  I've been printing off things for Emma and things are either too hard or too easy.  So here's my question for all of you, and you don't have to be a homeschooling mom to answer...if your child can breeze through things do you give them MORE of that to practice (oh say, addition worksheets?) or do you make them try to get something harder (multiplication? Fractions?) Emma's only a Kindergartener but I've been using first grade curriculum and she's finishing everything in about half the time they say to work with her on it.  I don't know if that means I should give her more practice or if she's ready for 2nd grade material.  And yes, I do feel kind of stupid asking this.  Just so ya know...

Happy Monday!  Make some coffee and perk yourself over that midday slump we're in now :)

Stink List

1. Coffee...why is my coffee soooooo much better on Monday mornings than any other time? Hmmmm???? Little elf people maybe. maybe. I'm serious dude, the coffee rocks my socks.

Coffee is one of those words I have to keep typing because it looks weird to me spelled right.
And wrong.
So then I have to figure out which is right. And which is wrong.
You know what I mean right?
No?
You stink.

2. I smell of garlic. Not some oh gosh you remind me of my plumpy grandma making baked ziti smell. Nope. Rather a oh my gosh, what were you rolling around in, some type of garlic aoli all night long?
We ate at Bonefish last night for dinner.
We hardly ever eat at bonefish so really I am kind of a fish out of water ordering there.
Pun intended.
Laughing ensues...
thank you, thank you.
Wheer was eye? oh yeah...so I ordered some devil dish and the next thing you know I am warding off vampires or something.
ugh, I stink.

3. Our house is trashed. I mean, college boys came over from animal house, trashed my house and then moved on to the next one, trashed.
I'm unclear as to how this keeps happening.
Except for the fact that my kids think I am some type of maid.
What was the maid's name on the Jetson's?
Rosie?
Reebok?
Reebox?
Roseanne?
Hmm...it was something with an R.
This stinks.

4. The kids do in fact think that I am a maid. Now that I theeenk of eeeet. Shoot, gotta stop that somehow. Wasn't that a brilliant deduction? I'm certain they think of me as a maid because this is how mornings work:
Wake up, shuffle, shuffle, yawn, shuffle, shuffle
Emma comes down stairs
Calvin comes to the stairs..."momma! get me!"
Momma says "no buddy, just come downstairs"
Repeat last two lines in your head 47,000 times
Cal comes down stairs.
Sits on couch.
Yells (no matter how close I am btw): "Snack and drink!"
Repeat last line 52,000 times.
So maybe they don't think I'm a maid as much as Cal thinks I am a maid.
Which I am not.
I must disengage this behaviour.
I put u's in words sometimes to seem cool. Behaviour. Saviour. Colour. See? You think I am smart-like.
Anyway, what was I saying?
Oh the maid thing...
Yeah, being a maid stinks.

5. I have to workout this morning.
Hate working out this morning.
Or afternoon.
Or evening.
Or any other morning/afternoon/evening combo you can swip-swap at me.
This stinks.

6. I am thinking of not sending Emma to school today. I told Nick about that yesterday. Me being the world's weirdest mother doesn't just decide to skip school. Nope, gotta plan. That's me. I'm a planner.
Anywho, I told Nick I was thinking about not taking Emma to school and he asked "why not?"
And I said "because I don't feel like it."
And he said "uh huh"
These are very deep convos we have.
Don't you ever want to just stay holed up in the world and feel like you are missing things just to be together?
We just keep runnin' and runnin' and runnin'.
And that stinks

7. Dog puke. Yep, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of the dog puking. Nice, huh? Cinderella awoke to singing birds. I awake to the sound of Snots working up a bone. Thanks a lot. Being the ardent house cleaner that I am (see #3) I put the pillow over my head and went back to sleep. When Nick woke up I think I managed to mutter "watch where you step. The dog puked!"
Nick didn't find it but I did. On the rug. With no socks on.
Gross.
That stunk.

8. The cat peed in my dressing room! How disgusting is that? It was last week and So the kitty has been living in the bathroom. She goes in this week to the doc to see why she did what she did. Apparently kitty's don't pee for no reason...excuse that double negative. I'm not quite believing that. I think she's secretly out to destroy me. To me it doesn't stink. I think I got it cleaned up in time. And cleaned up and cleaned up and cleaned up. But for God's sake if you come to my house and my house stinks, you have to tell me. Got it? I don't want to be THOSE people.
I think I'm going to go clean it again.
Just to make sure it doesn't stink.

Random Thoughts While Sitting At Work

How much time is it going to take for me to wrap all of the presents tonight?

How much wrapping paper is it going to take for me to wrap a guitar?

What is going to quiet the rumbling in my tummy?

Do you ever have those times when you realize you've had to pee for a really long time and nothing was keeping you from going to the bathroom you just kind of got used to the feeling of having to go? I do that ALL the time!

My children are the greatest kids ever!

I have the best husband ever! He is sweet, sensitive, patient, hilarious, sexy, and so freaking awesome. Did I mention he's a former tux model?

Do short people have reason to live?

How cute are my boots?

Super excited for my Aunt to get here! Get here lady, get here!

I think my Dog's on Crack

Okay, that's all for now. Thanks!

In case you were wondering...

photo brought to you by sunbeam

I just wanted to share with you that my coffee maker when you open the lid to pour the water in reads "not recommended for use in dishwasher". Does this make any sense to anyone? Someone please help me out because to me this can only mean two things: a) I have now read the dumbest thing I have ever and b) someone probably in Sheboygan tried to use their coffeepot in the dishwasher...weird wild stuff.

Visions Dance through My Head

Its happening again. I am imagining myself in a small cozy shop. I am sensing that warm burst of air you feel as you step in from the crisp air that the outside holds. I am smelling that warm, aromatic scent of pine, cinnamon and crisp wrapping paper. I am hearing the bells in the background of music playing softly for me to enjoy. I am seeing the twinling lights, like small drops of dew reflecting the sun. That’s right: I am beginning to yearn for Christmas shopping again. This starts within me, every year without fail around August. I get bored with the pristine weather conditions and begin to yearn for snowfalls, Christmas shopping, and always being cozy with my family. Do you yearn for Christmas? Do you dream of the way the snow twinkles as it cascades gently down to the ground, while you leisurely stand in the window with a warm mug of cocoa, wasting your evening away just watching? Do you breathe in the hard, cold air and feel alive?

Cute Boy Shoes

If you are like me you are finding it hard to find cute boy shoes for your son. My son does not need shoes with an inch thick sole, nor is he a cowboy, an old man, or a thug. I just need cute little boy shoes. So I FINALLY found some. They are at this website called Puddle Jumper Shoes. You can check them out and let me know what you think but I think they are just fab.

Let's get some laundry done

So I know that this is probably the stupidest thing that someone could spend weeks contemplating over, but I am thinking of switching up my laundry routine and I am just wondering how everyone else does laundry. I have always been a one day laundry type of gal. I don't want to feel enslaved to the laundry room so I always try to get it all done Saturday. It worked pretty well when it was just Nicholas and I but since the kiddos have come along, well, the process has kind of stretched out a bit. And when you have things to do on Saturdays that makes it even more difficult. I tried to get a head start and get all of my laundry done on Friday which resulted in clothing being strewn throughout the house as it never seemed to put itself away. I know some people do laundry every day and I like the idea of that in theory but I am wondering how it works...do you just do one random load a day? Do you do one person's laundry a day? And when do you fold and put it away...the same day or the next day when you are doing the other laundry? So I know I am now officially a freak but I am just dying to know how everyone else does this.

Oye

I found this on a wondeful website, http://www.livingfortodaymom.com/ I had to post this because I thought it was HILARIOUS!!! I am so doing this when we get a dog...okay not really. Well, maybe not really.

Random Thoughts during my Day off...

The following are random things I have thought of during the day...geesh I am silly:

Is it pronounced Eether or IIIther?
I am wondering why we have 8 spoons for Calvin when they come in packs of 5?
Do you know the muffin man?
Will I ever stop finding shredded cheese under our kitchen table?
Do you have our two missing spoons?
Do you often times find your nose running but cannot blow anything out so only a kleenex shoved up your nose works?
Are you grossed out now?
Calvin had his first poo today!
Now you should be grossed out.
I would give $50.00 right now to just be able to go take an uninterrupted shower...$100.00 if I could shave my legs
Do you ever wonder if ants have boyfriends? Do they date? "Hey I've heard good things about this new crumb pile...wanna go check it out?"
Now you are grossed out and affirmed that I am weird.
I love Nick...I love knowing that he was the one for me.
I think Nick is the normal one of the family...his family that is
Thats some weird normal
Why don't they make the sink stoppers easier to clean out?
When you are losing weight do you go to buy clothes or do you just wait?
How long do you wait?
My pants fell off...maybe nows the time to shop.
I used to hate zucchini
Now its okay
Nick still hates zucchini
I can't frenchbraid hair
Everyone thinks I look like Kimora

SAHMs

Photo courtesy of Sarasota Memorial Hospital

Why do I get so jealous of stay at home moms? For some reason when I hear that someone is a stay at home mom, something inside of me bubbles up and I get so irritated, it is just unbelievable. I feel almost as a child when they want something that is simply unattainable, "but I want to be a Stay at Home Mom too!" And yet when I stop to think of it, I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I tried it once and went out of my cotton-freaking mind! I am definitely not cut out to be stay at home mom. I need my day to have structure and I need to interact with other adults about things other than the number of bowel movements in a day and the latest rice cereal on the market. I also became incredibly depressed and anxious when I was at home with the kids full time. Now I only work part time and I must admit that I love what I do. I am not married to my job or anything but I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment when I leave work. I wonder if I am jealous of the stay at home mom’s financial position; that they can stay at home, because honestly we couldn’t afford for me to stay home all of the time. But on the other hand, I don’t truly know the financial position of these stay at home mom’s. Maybe no one in the house can afford to eat meat or dairy products because she stays home. Maybe they are charging everything to their credit cards so they can look affluent. I am not trying to be mean, but it does help to sometimes remind myself that things are not always as they appear on the surface.

MEAN MAN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Okay so I don't think that any of you know this man but I had to post this because it irritated me so much. Yesterday we went on a walk which was absolutely wonderful. On the way home however there was a man who had his van parked in his driveway so he was completely blocking the sidewalk. Now I understand if this happens when you are having a party or something and you are out of room to park...that's cool. But this guy could have pulled up or parked in the street...the options were endless, but instead he chose to park in the middle of the sidewalk. So as we were walking we came upon the blocked sidewalk. The man was out there with his daughter who was maybe four and she was standing on the sidewalk next to the van. From the opposite side of the van a little boy, maybe about 7 years old rides his bike around the van and accidentally knocks this little girl down. The mean dad who obviously can't park yells at the boy to get out of there and then decides he wants to yell at him, so he grabs him by the arm to stop. What a jerk! Then he is yelling at the little boy that he shouldn't even be riding his bike on the sidewalk he needs to ride on the street. So I kind of butted in and yelled at him that maybe he shouldn't be parking on the sidewalk, which you aren't supposed to do anyway. I mean none of that would have happened anyway if the man knew how to obey the rules so everyone could use the sidewalk. So anyway, this man lives on the block next to ours and you'd better believe that the next time I am walking my kids around the neighborhood and see their little four year old daughter riding her tricycle around on the sidewalk, I will suggest she ride in the street. Isn't that what he said? Shouldn't the rules apply to everyone? Because yes, I know if you are an adult you are supposed to be riding your bike in the street. Everyone knows that. But do we really expect our children to do that? Do they have to keep up with the flow of traffic as well? Should they learn the correct arm movements to signal turning? Didn't we all have to do that as children playing with our friends in bike gangs? So if you see this man please tell him he's not a very nice man. I have been worried about that poor little boy all day. He was probably scared to death and is going to ride out in the street now and get killed all because this man doesn't know how to park.

If we were sisters...

So if you and I were sisters do you think I would be the nerdy one or the cool one? Would I be the pretty one or the one wishing she were the pretty one? Would you be the one that is smart and I am to emulate or would that be me? Never thought it before did you?

I Wish Someone Would Give Me a Pink Slip...

...or a blue slip, or a yellow slip, preferably a white slip, but I would even take a risque black slip at this point. Just in case you were wondering, apparently it is now uncool to wear a slip if you are a little girl. At least that is the only thing I can assume since no one sells slips anymore...anywhere. Except Amish supercenters. But around here I have looked long and hard (okay not everywhere so if you see them anywhere let me know) and cannot find one in sight. I had a sure bet tip to go to Burlington Coat Factory to buy a slip but lo and behold they didn't have them. What is this world coming to when you cannot buy proper undergarments. The sad part is I am sure it would probably be easier to find Emma thong underpants than it would be to find her a slip for Easter. So if you know of somewhere I can find a slip for Emma, please let me know.

What's the deal with Handy Manny?

photo courtesy of tvfortots.com

So Emma has taken a liking to Handy Manny. We try not to let her watch too much television, but when Calvin is screaming and I haven't had time to get a cup of coffee in the morning, I find myself turning on the Disney Channel to let her watch him. As I sat watching it with her this morning, I couldn't help but ask myself what the heck is up with that guy? Have you ever watched this show? He's a mexican fellow who has a weird obsession with his tools...he talks to them and he polishes them every night before work the next morning. He never has what he needs to do a project...ever. He could say "well all you need it a screw but I will have to go to the hardware store for that." Clearly this guy has some inventory issues. Maybe it is because he is secretly stalking the hardware store owner...there seems to be some definite tension and flirting going on there. Also he tends to not be very good at his job. Today he was supposed to be mending a fence, but instead took the fence section out and replaced it with a gate without asking the owner...if I were the owner I think I would be mad. Last but not least I cannot understand why you would hire this guy. No power tools, so if he needs something cut he pulls out the saw...its like hiring amish people. Hello to inefficiency. Thats all I'm saying.

Stuck In This Room

The perfect afternoon environment for blogging and browsing for online coupons...Nick is downstairs taking a nap with Emma and I am upstairs with an adorable sleeping little boy named Calvin. It would have been perfect had I had everything I needed. But now I am up at the computer and am stuck...if I go downstairs it will definitely wake up Emma which would probably cause Nick to scowl at me. First I realized I forgot my sales flier for the grocery store downstairs, meaning I can't see what coupons I need; no problem I will look it up online. Next I realized I left my coupon organizer out in the car so I can't see if I already have a coupon that I may be thinking of printing off for an item. Next I was going to take a picture of all of my loot from the consignment store and realized the camera is downstairs...shoot! Last and shamedly least, the camera card is even with the camera (which is almost unheard of around here) so I can't even post the goofy pictures of myself that Nick took last night. Rats! So I thought I would blog about my blogging misadventures and how I have been sitting at the computer getting caught up on all the neat websites I find in magazines and tear out the pages to look up later, which ultimately results in millions of papers lying around the office. Sigh...sorry there's nothing exciting yet but hopefully I will be able to post some things tonight!

Britax? More like Ripoffax!

Okay, I may be the biggest idiot in the world, but can someone explain to me the point of paying $300.00 for a car seat? A couple of my friends have Britax carseats and more have registered for them, which has left me sitting here wondering why on earth you would need to pay that much for a carseat? Please do not be alarmeed, I do not have Emma strapped in with a handkerchief or anything in the back seat sitting on phone books. We have a very respectable Eddie Bauer Carseat that we bought on sale at Target for around $80.00. It works great. The $300.00 price tag is something that just floors me. Does the carseat automatically fasten the child in so you don't have to hunch down to do this, all the while getting your backside rained on while it sticks out of the car? Does it feed your child vitamins so you don't have to cooerse them into this yourself? Does it come with some type of tracking device so if your child is kidnapped by someone prudent enough to take the carseat as well, you will be able to find them like dogs with chips in their heads? I know people say that you can't put a pricetag on your child's safety but I think that is a bunch of crap. Unless you are driving like a Nascar racer (which by the way I do pronounce Nas-car-A) a carseat that is supposedly that safe is simply unnecessary. All of the tests and precautions have been taken to ensure safety on my moderately priced seat; there weren't any stickers on the box that proclaimed my seat perfect for moms hopped up on Meth that just don't care. And how would you know if your seat is really that safe? Are you going to go and play chicken on the tollroad to ensure that the side panels on your child restraint seat really are sound? But seriously I do want to know what all the hype is, I am not just being cynical (well maybe just a little). So if you know why you should buy a car seat for the cost of a large Coach tote bag, please comment and tell me so I may decide if I should run out and get two...one for the princess and one for the Noble Hunchman who is sitting next to me (hunched, I'm not just mean).

Random Thoughts at Work

When is the last time you ate canned meat? Does anyone eat this on a regular basis? I bought corned beef in a can last week. Wasn't bad, but just weird. Nick made weird faces and yet proceeded to eat it. This is the man though who had not had spam until we were married and he loves it. Ah canned meats

Does anyone else ever see someone a little "too" excited about Halloween and wonder if they worship the devil?

I am looking for a tactful way to tell a 82 year old woman that you do not need any more wreaths and purple flowers look fake...any suggestions?

How do you know when sour cream is bad? It is cream that has soured for goodness sake. And cottage cheese. People should know how to spot these things. Because when you are pregnant all animally products smell like hairy buffalo butt anyway.

So I was showing Emma lint when we were doing laundry and I am trying how to explain what lint is...fibers of cloth and hair and other grossness?

What do you think a good man name for me would be if I were ever to become a man? I am thinking Leon might suit me.