A Gigantic Thank You

I would just like to say a huge, gigantic Thank you to all of our friends and family. Your generosity and kindness has been so overwhelming: through all of this phase of our lives but especially at Christmas.

Our children have so much because of how freely you all give. We were kind of scared that that children wouldn’t have a Christmas. I know that is stupid but I guess that was just one of the thoughts going through this. Not only did they have a Christmas but they had an amazing Christmas. And you all gave us an amazing Christmas as well.

When you exchange gifts you sometimes start to feel like you are just getting a gift because you gave a gift and vice versa. But when you have nothing to give and someone gives you something, your heart is really attuned to how much people love and care for you. Things like a Victoria’s Secret Gift Card, a cookie book teaching me how to decorate a cookie to look like a leisure suit, and a handpainted ornament that is a duplicate of a cherished ornament that was broken. Those are the things that break down your heart and make you realize just how loved you are.

So anyway, thank you so much. It means the world to us that you care for us and our children. We would be nothing without the people that God has chosen to be in our lives.

Sleeping Alone

Nick’s new job is going to be different for a while because he is going to be working 12 hours a day from 5pm to 5am…ouch. He will work some crazy schedule of 2 days on, 2 days off and other patterns that I don’t quite understand yet.

At first I was really quite upset about the prospect of my husband being away from home for that long and at night but now (secretly) I am getting a tiny bit excited. Here are some of the reasons why:

Socks…I love to wear socks to bed but Nick hates it when I do, so I don’t. Guess who will be wearing socks to bed now?

Hitting the Hay…he by no way makes me or anything but a lot of times I stay up later than I should so I can spend time with Nick alone. I am hoping that the nights Nick works I will be able to get myself to bed at about 9 and have a restful night’s sleep.

Scary Face…remember the face you went to bed with before there was someone else in your bed? I am talking the curlers in your hair, noxema all over, that face you sported? Well I will be able to wear the scary face again…provided no little children need me who are going to be scared out of their mind.

Snowman pj’s…when you come to bed wearing purple thermal pajamas with giant snowmen on them, it kind of kills any mood of intimacy there might have been…now I can wear them whenever I want!

As much as these things sound so exciting (not) and luxurious (not) I am going to miss my man so much. There is nothing better than falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves you as much as you love them. I love how he watches television and twirls my hair. I love that we have only ever known one another so intimately and ever will only know one another.

I am going to miss him when he is at work but I am sure it will make falling asleep next to him that much sweeter when he gets to be at home. :)

Changes

Sorry I have been so distant lately. In case you haven’t noticed, its Christmas time. I have been busy having tons of fun with my loved ones. I am refusing to let Christmas die already. Its still the Christmas season, by golly.

Anyway I have some HUGE news…Nick got a job! And he is actually really excited about it. Plus we don’t have to move and he should be making as much as he was before which is fantastic!

But I have noticed that I do this every time. When I have no control over anything I lean solely on God. I think “God will bring us out of this.” And of course he does because He is God and is amazing. But I give God the glory and praise Him for about 5 minutes and then I am off to go and worry. Yes God gave us a job but I am here worrying about “will we have enough money?” and “do you think we will be able to get that new thing I really want?” and yet here I am worrying…again. Its then I feel a little tap on my shoulder from God saying “um, excuse me? Remember me? Guy who’s brought you out of this crap? Yeah, I can take care of money stuff too. Its no big thing. Just trust” And there it is again, that word. Trust. I need to trust. Please God help me to trust. Please forgive me for not trusting you. Help me. Because even if I feel like we now are back in control the truth of the matter is that we never have any control. God...He has the control.

So those are the changes in our lives. God has protected us and brought us through the storm. That is something that will always be unchanging. I am hoping that this year though I can be changing and learn to trust that God will provide for us and keep us safe.

Random Thoughts While Sitting At Work

How much time is it going to take for me to wrap all of the presents tonight?

How much wrapping paper is it going to take for me to wrap a guitar?

What is going to quiet the rumbling in my tummy?

Do you ever have those times when you realize you've had to pee for a really long time and nothing was keeping you from going to the bathroom you just kind of got used to the feeling of having to go? I do that ALL the time!

My children are the greatest kids ever!

I have the best husband ever! He is sweet, sensitive, patient, hilarious, sexy, and so freaking awesome. Did I mention he's a former tux model?

Do short people have reason to live?

How cute are my boots?

Super excited for my Aunt to get here! Get here lady, get here!

I think my Dog's on Crack

Okay, that's all for now. Thanks!

Gingerbread House!

This past weekend we made our gingerbread house. I think it turned out really cute, don't you? Emma had a side and I had a side to decorate and we had soooo much fun! We spent next to nothing extra on supplies as we already had everything so it was a great event to do. I think this will be going into our family's lineup of things to do every Christmas. And hopefully next year Calvin will be able to participate and won't try to karate chop our house like he wanted to this year! Emma is so cute, has such good ideas, and is so fun to work with! I am so blessed to have such a great little girl!

Stick A Fork In Us...

I am done Christmas Shopping, and, yes, you did read that right! Nick and I have been searching for the children's gifts for the past month. With all of that planning and budgeting we were able to be done before the crowds and we got some amazing deals. Are you itching to know what they were? Well! I have to say as I skipped out of Toys R Us last night (thankful that was my 19th and last time in there this season) I was very proud of Nick and I that we were able to get our shopping done and spend only $100.00 on each child. When one toy is on SALE for $24.99, $100.00 sure doesn't seem to go very far, does it?

So we had to get creative. VERY creative. Here was my plan of action: shop sales every week, look at clearance items, shop with coupons, and shop around. Also I shop through the year for my gift closet and at the end of the year if there's anything left that the children would like I use those for presents too. This turned into an amazing blessing this year as I already had some gifts for the kids. We were able to get 10 items for each child and 3 presents that are for both of them. Twenty-three items under our tree for $200.00 isn't bad. Here's what I got for each Child, what I paid, where I got it:
Calvin:
Sit n Spin for $10.00 at Target
My Pal Scout for $10.00 at Target
Fur Real Puppy for $12.00 at Toys R Us
Chuck My Talking Truck for $22.00 at Toys R Us
Batman Costume for $4.00 at Toys R Us
Little Einstein Toy for $0.00, I had this in my gift closet from years ago so I’m counting it as free!
Christmas Baby Book for $0.00, again shopped the gift closet
Charlie Brown Hat for $5.00 at Gap
Helmet Heroes for $20.00 at Toys R Us
Imaginext figure for $6.00 at Toys R Us
Emma:
Hungry Hippo Travel Game for $1.00 at Target
Disney’s Belle Crown for $4.00 at the Disney Store
Disney’s Belle Gown for $21.00 at The Disney Store
Kitty purse for $0.00 from the Gift Closet
Pink Guitar for $26.00 from Toys R Us
Mary Engelbreit paper dolls for $0.00 from gift closet
Book for $0.00 from gift closet
Webkinz pair for $10.00 from Target
Candy Land for $4.00 from Toys R Us
Book for $5.00 from Ebay
Robe for $10.00 from Target
Lava Lamp for $6.00 from Menards
For Both:
DVD for $6.00 at Family Christian Bookstore
Aquadoodle for $8.00 at Toys R Us
Go Fish Game for $4.00 at Target
If anything pops out at you and you just have to know how I got it that cheap leave a comment and I’ll respond. I was very impressed with what we got and I know the kids will love everything! Shhh…don’t tell them what they are getting!

So Silly

These are my little cuties. Aren't they just goofy? I am so excited for the weekend! As we speak Nick and the kids are his Aunts house waiting on the Piano movers to arrive. And by tonight we will have a Baby Grand Piano for our little blessings to learn on. I am so excited for them and for our family. I am sure a lifetime of memories will be created around our new instrument.

In other news the interview yesterday went well and he should have a second interview next week, so keep those prayers coming! I will let you know more as I know it. I am praying for a job offer by Thanksgiving...that would truly be something to be thankful for.

Monday Nick is studying for some AICP exam. Before he was laid off his former employer had paid for him to take the test so he is still going ahead with it. This would give him a lot of accredation and help out job wise. He has been studying every spare second he has for this so I am anxious for him to take the test.

Nothing planned for the weekend. The children and I will be preparing for Christmas with cleaning and decorating while Nicholas is studying away.

Hope you have a great weekend!

As M.C. Hammer Would Say...

You've Got to Pray, pray, pray, pray!



Nick got a call last night from a friend and he has an interview at the place he works tomorrow! Did you hear that? TOMORROW! Praise Jesus! I am begging you to pray for this. Please coat this sucker in prayer. I want him to have this job so much. And he wants it too. It would be a great opportunity for him. Not to mention the fact that we wouldn't have the leave the area which would be AMAZING and such an answer to prayer. Okay...get praying!

Ughhh.....

Please bear with me as I am having a pity party kind of day. The ladies at work have been talking about trips they are going to take and things they are going to do. I guess it is hard to hear that others are doing well and able to do such luxurious things. We've kind of just had a hard week I guess you could say. We have kind of just accepted the fact that this is our life and it sucks. I know I am usually positive and upbeat but some days that is just too hard. Some times I am just tired of being strong. Tired of being upset about all of this, you know?

Then there is the life stuff that takes a toll too. Like our truck now needing a new Alternator...yikes! Unexpected things just tend to put me over the edge and that I guess has done it this week. I know God is going to provide and I have Faith that Nick will get a job. But sometimes I am just tired of WAITING.

Anyway that is the reality of today. I am holding strong to the fact that there is a lot of love and I have a lot of God's Grace to cover me today...because I surely do not have the right attitude today. Prayers would be wonderful! :)

Typical Day

Calvin feet while reading stories...soooo cute!

Emma washing her hands after craft time

Story time!

This week we enjoyed having just normal boring days. Here are some of the pictures. I love that we have the children on a schedule so most of the time they know what to expect. I think that is especially comforting to children. The children love story time...both in the afternoon and before bed in the evening hours. I also love that I have a craft time with Emma for a little while after Calvin goes to sleep. I think it helps her to feel that she is getting enough attention. Anywho enjoy the pictures and have a great weekend!

Coming Along...

Can someone please let me know what in the world possessed me to make decorated sugar cookies for a bake sale? Geesh! I should have just stuck with Rice Krispy Treats or something. Well after a VERY late night last night I am about halfway done decorating these silly little things. And yes there are Christmas cookies AND Dinosaur cookies. I thought they dinos would be fun for kids and YES I do know that Dinos weren't alive when Jesus was born. :) Hope you all have a great day. Someone stop me if I have frosting stuck to my face or something!

Whew!

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a short little while! I've been super busy. With what Iam not quite sure. This weekend was my Birthday and I just want to climb on our roof and shout a huge "thank you!" to everyone who made it awesome. Every little thing made it wonderful. Nicholas pampered me to no end, the girls at work made me wear a tiara to be a princess, my BIL called me and left a sweet message, my MIL spoilng me rotten, my Aunt Jan sent me a little somthin' somethin', and everyone else...all of which was so appreciated and so surprising and wonderful! Hooray for all of you!

I volunteered to make cookies for the bake sale for Emma's school. Its Saturday which I thought, yeah, Saturday's still way out there...except I just realized I have to send them to school with her on Friday meaning I have to have those silly cookies ready THURSDAY NIGHT...Yikes! This is my first bake sale EVER and in my Bree Van de Camp style that I always annoyingly gravitate to, I want everything to be perfect. Errrr I hate that about me. So anyway I have been googling and researching most popular bake sale cookies and figuring out how to properly decorate those puppies.

All of this coming down to me telling you that I probably will not be blogging much this week. Or sleeping. Or eating anything but leftover frosting. Yikes again.

What's on your nightstand right now? There seriously are about 10 books on my nightstand, ranging from Apraxia, to the history of setting a table, which yes Marcy you can tell me later what a dork I am...I'm expecting it. :) And yes Aunt Jan I will totally write down the title of the book so you can read it too. And yes Jaime you can laugh at me and tell me how I'm being dumb...cute but dumb. Teehee, there's my shout out to some of the people I know who read this. Love you all!

So anyway I will try to write more starting next week. I think I might need a vacation sometime soon to reclaim my sanity!

The Boys and the Girls

Thought you might enjoy a couple of pictures from our Christmas Card Photo Shoot...we had so much fun, can you tell? Thank to Aunt Maime for taking the pictures...she's always ready and able when we ask for something. I love that Nick's throwing Calvin around and I'm tickling Emma to pieces...pretty much how our days are every day...just kidding!

First Crush!

Well I think Emma has her first crush. Isn't that just adorable? The little boy she's interested in is named Nicholas. Hmmm what a coincidence! Anyway her and I were driving to Hobby Lobby, girl time as she calls it, and we were chatting away. I told her Nicholas seemed nice because I had just gone on a fieldtrip with the class. She said "yeah but I can't talk around him."
"Why not?"
"I just get all jumpy when I'm near him and I can't talk."
"What do you mean jumpy?"
"I don't know I just feel like I need to jump, jump, jump, and I can't talk or anything."
Isn't that the most precious thing you've ever heard? I know that's how MY Nicholas makes me feel too so I can totally relate. She is just so precious. And if this is starting already we DEFINITELY are going to have our hands full!

Praising Him through the Doozies

Yesterday was a real doozie of a day:
I went out to my car to go to work and the hard working battery was dead…thanks for 6 years of effort little battery. So I cruised off in the family vehicle. No problem.
I came home to a glum Nicholas. He didn’t get the job he really wanted. He was sad. Crushed. Kisses and hugs, prayers and consolations. How I love that man. It pains my little heart to see him not in good spirits.
As we were getting ready to leave our house our refrigerator started making a really funky noise. I mean a Funky Winkerbean kind of noise. A call to Nicholas’ child hood neighbor gave us some suggestions of what to do. And lo and behold it was fixed!
We are trying to praise God in all things. ALL things. The crappy unexpected things where your heart is crushed and you feel like you can’t breathe. Or the sudden things that could ruin your day. I will praise God in all of those things. I am determined.
I must tell you when Nick was first laid off I was TERRIFIED. To be honest, we only had a few hundred dollars in our savings account. Yikes. You can’t survive for very long on that much. But that money has grown. Seriously it has, I'm not just bad at math. Money doesn’t just grow on its own you know? God has made that money grow. There is no doubt in my mind. Now in all honesty we don’t have money just oozing out around us. But we are okay for now.
God has provided in ways we had never thought possible:
Monetarily we have been blessed by friends and family over the past months. We’ve found money left in trash cans for us, checks slid over the table at casual lunches, and a simple gift of cash just given without being expected. We weren’t looking for such gifts but God has pulled on these people’s heartstrings to give, and they obeyed.
We’ve also had an abundance of bills that were lower than expected. Credits showing up that make no sense and things that we know God was behind.
In other ways of being blessed our friends and family have been working overtime to make sure we are refreshed and provided for. Watching the kids so Nick can job hunt or study has been such an enormous blessing. Babysitters so Nick and I can go and window shop or get a cup of coffee, just the two of us, has meant more than you’ll ever know. Seriously, Nick and I are strong but umemployment kind of just sucks the life out of a marriage. Its times like those that help us to stay strong and puts wind in our sails to fight together and not one another. Chicago Bears tickets, paying for meals, taking us out to dinner, bringing a bottle of wine for a night of cards, gifts for the children…all of those things bring tears to my eyes that we have been blessed with all of you.
And we now have fairies. We have a diaper fairy, a chicken fairy, a meat fairy, a wipes fairy, a Christmas shoes fairy. Most of these fairies are Nick’s mom who without I don’t think we would make it at all. But to know we have people in our lives we can call and they will help makes us feel as though we are going to be okay. It reminds us of God’s love because we see it in these people.
I don’t tell you all of this for you to think “geesh they are down and out” or “I need to help more”. Please don’t think that way at all. Rather I want this time to be a testimony to God’s power.
All of these things remind us and encourage us that God is in control and provides for us…constantly. So when I have a doozie of a day I can take solace in knowing God will pull us through. Just look at what he has done this far. And when thinking of all the ways he has helped us doesn’t perk me up I simply lift my eyes. I look at the hottie of a husband I have and the two amazing children. God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I can look higher up and see the sky: the vastness of God’s power and beauty. And I know, I KNOW, he holds the future.

Gloomy Gus

Please be praying for Nick right now. One of the jobs he REALLY wanted was one of two that would allow us to stay in the area and not have to be uprooted. He found out today he wasn't being considered for an interview. I know this isn't life threatening or anything but I can just tell by looking at him that he is a broken man. I am sure he feels that he has failed us somehow or that it is somehow because of him. My heart just breaks to see him like this, he is always my upbeat guy. Please lift him up in prayer now. Thanks!

Happy Halloween!

I kind of lost control of the crowd...

Here we are...aren't we so cute?

I hope everyone had a great time on this All Hallow's Eve. We had a nice time. Yesterday though the children both came down with something. Calvin was running about 102 fever with Motrin and Emma was just sick but with no fever. Seriously Calvin was looking about near death yesterday and I was starting to get scared. We laid hands on him and prayed, prayed, prayed. Within an hour his temperature was below 100 and he was up playing. Before we prayed he wasn't even opening his eyes...see? That's what prayer can do. Praise God!


Today we were still under the weather but by Trick or Treat time our fevers were gone and we had perked up a bit. So we went out for a bit of trick or treating. Last weekend we went to a zoo Halloween event in our area so we have had enough trick or treating to last us a while. I've posted a couple of pictures. Hope you had a great time too

It's the Little Things

Yesterday I was getting my hair cut about half an hour after I got off of work. The children were having fun with Auntie Bean and Grandma Peggy so Nicholas was kid free. He met me yesterday at Jimmy John's close to my salon to have a 25 minute lunch with me before my appointment. Isn't that just so sweet? Then he walked with me to the salon even though he parked in the opposite direction. Ah, young-we've-known-one-another for 9 years-love!

As you can see its the little things now a days that get my goat. An $8.00 lunch at a sandwich shop and an arm to be on when walking through the City still gets my heart all aflutter. I love that man so much. I love that he thinks of me and thinks of how to make me happy. I love that he loves me.

Oh yes and by the way...my haircut totally rocks!

Autumn Loveliness

photo courtesy of vrwd.com

Today is Wednesday and it is beautiful. Don't you just love Autumn? There is something so rejuvenating about the season. There are leaves to rake of course but there are also mugs of Apple Cider to sip and lots of cuddling to do. I love when you step outside and it just SMELLS like Autumn. In our little corner of the world is has been terribly cold. I thought perhaps we would never see a real Autumn. But I am very thankful that God brought the warmer weather back and it has been here for the past week. Ah, Fall and I can resume our love affair! I hope you all are enjoying today wherever you may be. Step outside and take a deep gulp of God's lovely Autumn air!

100 Acre Wood

This past Sunday we attended a Halloween event at our local zoo. Emma was Eeyore and Calvin was Piglet. Yes I know he is in pink but in case you were wondering Piglet was a male pig so there! They had so much fun and everyone loved their costumes. I am having a hard time grasping the idea that in a few days November is going to be here. How did this happen? My babies are just getting too big as the time goes by faster and faster.

Another thing the kids loved were their new Trick or Treat buckets. Uncle Marcy sent them and they arrived on Saturday. The children just love them soooo much and everyone comments on how awesome they are. I hope you have a great week and don't forget...Happy Halloween!

Birthday Wish

Next Friday is my Birthday! Hey, hey! I am going to be 28 years old! Wow, how blessed I am to have the greatest family and just be loving life at this age! God has truly blessed us, no matter what the circumstances of our lives may be right now.
For my Birthday I have a wish. I am not telling you exactly what it is but I will tell you it has to do with Nick getting a job (the most pinacle thing on my mind right now). Decisions are being made this week and I just hope they are good news for us. Please be praying. Pray, pray, pray!
So that's what's going on right now. I am cleaving to the fact that I KNOW God is for us. Plans to bring us good and not harm. I know something is coming. I know. I just have to somehow learn to be patient and rely on God moving things in His timing, not mine. :)

Miss Kazoo

This is our little Emma. Sometimes I cannot believe she is Three years old. This will probably sound really stupid but I am beginning to not be able to remember her as a baby. Is this normal? She's just so grown up and mature that it is hard for me to remember that adorable Emma that fell asleep on my chest for all of her naps.
Emma has blossomed into such a neat kid. She is hilarious and unpredictable. She sometimes is such a tough guy and other times she has such a tender heart she is crying uncontrollably. Those are the times that break my heart. She also is so spontaneous. Most of the times she is so shy. And then there are those times like tonight when we walked by the neighbors and she yells at the man on the porch "I'm Emma and that's Calvin". Well okay.
She has also become so independent that it often times breaks my heart. Iwant to be able to scoop her up and cuddle with her but most of the time she just isn't having it.
Emma also has quite the vocabulary. You can hear her scolding Cal often times with sayings such as "this is completely unneccessary" or "this is totally uncalled for". So silly.
That's my big girl. She is so quick to tell me she is going to be 4. To me she is already grown up I just don't know where the time is going.

Pumpkin Carving

Dr. Evil or Nicholas?

This past week we FINALLY carved that silly old pumpkin. We had so much fun! I made a cake to celebrate the event (yes I know I am a HUGE dork!). Then we went on a walk around our neighborhood and had a pumpkin hunt, counting all of the pumpkins we could see on our neighbor's porches. So fun! When we got back home we designed how we wanted the pumpkin to look and then dined on cake while Daddy got to work carving. We had a great night. These memories are the things I hope they remember. Yes Nicholas is unemployed life kind of sucks blah, blah. But moments like this make time stand still. I hope they remember these moments and not bad ones. I hope this is engrained in their little memories as much as it is mine.

Happy Weekend!

I hope you all have a great weekend! It is pretty dreary here today which makes me so thankful I have one fine man for a husband to curl up with on the couch. We have a standing date every day at 3 to watch the Dick VanDyke Show...Ah how I love our life. Nothing too spectacular planned here this weekend, which is A-ok with me. Have a great one!

Mama No!

From the moment my feet touched the stairs to hook up my Coffee IV this morning, Calvin was screaming "Mama, no!" I think he thought I was going to work right that second. After 15 minutes of relentless crying I went to get him. Poor dear. He had thrown everything out of his bed and had a huge armfull of his comforter. You could tell he was trying to figure out how the heck he was going to lug that thing out of the crib. It was so cute and he looked so excited to see me.
I put him into bed with Daddy and he just snuggled all in. He was definitely not happy to see me go this morning and it just broke my heart to have to leave him.
Right now I am living with the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" in my heart. The desire of my heart is to be at home with those precious children. There is nothing I want more. So I am delighting myself in God and I am faithful that in His time I will get to be at home with my babies.

Aren't We Cute?

I thought i would post one of the pictures from our recent photo shoot. Aren't we cute? Couldn't you just eat us up? The children were amazingly well behaved. Yeah! Tonight we are having tacos which are sounding pretty yummy to me. Then we have a fun filled night of returning Library books and carving our pumpkin...hooray! I am sure I will be posting pictures of that soon (the pumpkin not the books!). Hope you are enjoying this beautiful day!

Gluten Boy

As we are researching Apraxia we are finding that some Apraxic kids have responded well to having a diet free of Gluten. I am curious if any of my readers (or should I say lurkers since I am talking to those of you who view but never leave comments :)...) have ever had a gluten free diet. I am wondering if there is some sort of super center for Gluten free food. Because seriously a loaf of bread costs $8.00 if it is gluten free.

Sunday Afternoon

Here's Calvin and Emma coloring yesterday afternoon. They colored together while I made dinner: meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, and apple pie. They played together so well and seemed to have a really good time. I love the laid back feel of Sundays, don't you?

Christmas Coupons

photo courtesy of playskool.com

If you are like me you are starting on your Christmas Shopping right about me. Or you are at least thinking about it. Or thinking that soon you are going to have to think about it. Well Playskool has issued some coupons that make some of their toys pretty darn good deals. Here is the link. I know for example the sit and spin is on sale at Target this week (at least in our area, that is my one and only disclaimer) is on sale for 20.00 this week and with the 10.00 off coupon it will be only 10.00 (just in case you are REALLY bad with math!) So one of those would be for any kid...who doesn't like to sit around and get dizzy?

My Silly Blessings

With both of our children they seem to be cute and adorable (even more so that usual) the moment that you put a hat on them! Emma usually flashes the silly cute smiles and Calvin somehow always cocks his hat and starts humming Bone Thugs and Harmony Tunes. I love it! Hope you are all enjoying your Sunday!

Finally Getting Caught Up

Last weekend we went to the Pumpkin Patch to pick out great Pumpkin of the year. We had a lot of fun despite being FREEZING cold! I kept thinking "I can't feel my feet!" but just kept on smiling! The farm we've been going to every year has games and activities for the children to play with and this year they were big enough to go on some sory of inflatable pillow thingy. They had so much fun! They were just giggling and Calvin could hardly ever get up but it was so cute! I've posted pictures of that, of us with our Pumpkin and of the children excited about going to the Patch!

THEN the weekend before that Nick's brother treated us to a weekend in Chicago! We felt to blessed by the whole experience. We went to the Bear's game courtesy of Uncle Marcy. It was my first game ever and I actually really enjoyed it. The picture of Nicholas and I is from before the game. It was a good time to get away and not have to worry about bills or job searches or Apraxia, or all of the other 18 million things I seem to worry about every day. And that was worth more to me than anything.

So that's what we've been doing on our weekends. This weekend we have nothing planned which is heavenly.

If You'll Excuse Me...

I'm sorry I have not been blogging lately. Monday we got the official diagnosis that Calvin has Apraxia of Speech, and possibly of the limbs. I am just so overwhelmed right now I need to collect my thoughts. I've been spending all of my free time research coconut oil, omega 3's, gluten free diets, and when I haven't been doing that I've been crying. I'll write soon, promise. Thanks for your prayers and for understanding!

Apple Picking

If you want them to smile, tell them to put buckets on their heads

Calvin's first apple of the season



Here's Emma's

The children picking apples together

This is Emma's "I love picking apples" dance...she also looks like a dino.

So after the Mill last weekend (yeah, yeah, last last weekend) we went to the Apple Orchard. We had a blast! The children love picking apples and I love them eating apples so its a win-win here folks. The weather was perfect and we had so much fun!

The Old Mill

This is the face you get when you ask Emma to smile and she's freaked out

Here we are in the basement of the mill!

Outside being cute!

Calvin and I at our picnic

Last weekend (okay two weekends ago because I am slow) we went to an old mill near our home. At first Emma was not going for it...mainly because it was making a horrid racket while grinding corn down. But once it stopped we had a lovely tour and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. We ever were able to take home a bag of cornmeal that we had been there to watch them make...I thought that was pretty neat! They rang us up on the original cash register and measured it out on an old scale...we even went home with our cornmeal in a paper bag tied with string...neat-o! We also had a picnic and a thoroughly wonderful time exploring God's creation around us and thanking Him for His goodness.

Don't Pee in the Street

Today Emma called me at work to tell me that “it is unacceptable for children to pee in the street”. It is so adorable how she trips over unacceptable. She kept telling me this over and over until I was wondering why are you calling to tell me this? What did you do? Nick came on the phone to tell me that she saw a squirrel pee in the street and told him that it is unacceptable for children to pee in the street. So true. I was scared she had peed in the street and Nicholas was having her tell me.

I love having her call me and tell me these silly little things because its things like this that I miss when I am at work. We have some very creative kids. Emma says funny things and Calvin tries to stack dinosaurs on top of cows…seriously these kids are just too cute.

The Next Einstein

Calvin still isn't talking. We've been with our speech therapist who is wonderful and she has been having him do mouth exercises so he can now move his mouth to make the noises. The problem? He still is not communicating. He still doesn't know how to tell me what he wants. He still gets frustrated and punches people, hits his head into anything or anyone, breaks things, bites people, and throws things. I want my baby back. I want him to know I care what he wants, I want to help him, I just don't KNOW what he wants.
So we are back to Apraxia. Have I talked about this before? Apraxia is a neurological disorder in where he physically cannot figure out how to get the words out to say, please give me more crackers."
Monday our therapist told us two things: he's either incredibly stubborn or it's Apraxia. My heart hurts for my baby. Just imagine being in a party and being ignored most of the time. You have no way of telling anyone, "yes another cream puff would be delightful" or "no thank you, enough champagne for me". That must be his whole life. How freaking frustrating. No wonder we are punching walls.
She told us another thing that I was dreading...we have to sign to him. I don't know sign language. I know about as much sign language as Amish people know Mandarin Chinese...not very much.
All I can think is, what if this is his life? What if he can never speak? What if I am signing to him "smile for the camera" for graduation pictures?
I know I sound like a spaz, I know that everyone keeps telling me "he'll talk when he's ready", "he's just so little", "Einstein didn't talk till he was three" but the truth of the matter is I don't care. I want my baby to talk. I want to her "I love mama." As any mother feels, I would take his hurt and his frustration away in a New York minute. I would do that because it kills me and eats away at my heart when he's frustrated, or sad, or hurt, and can't tell me that. I don't even know when he's had a bad dream or when something scared him. His cry sounds the same for everything.
I know he'll probably talk at some point, but until that point comes all of this is painfully difficult. If he didn't have a problem I wouldn't have a team of therapists, and mountains of evaluations, and paperwork, and activities, and videos, and on and on.
Thanks for listening. I pray and cry every night that my little boy will one day be able to talk. Please pray the same.

Me

Some of you who read this know me like an old book (or is it shoe)? Anyway, some of you don't really know a lot about me, or perhaps you are just DYING to know more! So here's a little info on the girl you want to know:

I drink either a hot cocoa or a chai tea almost every night.

Cocoa must be made with TONS of marshmallows

Ina Garten is my current hero

I often times think I am the worst mother ever

I have no idea what my purpose in life is

I Heart Chunky Peanut Butter...Nick likes creamy so guess what I eat?

I secretly want a volvo wagon to complete the whole soccer mom look

Squirrels have always scared me...and now Racoons are topping that list! AHHHH!

I have a hard time transitioning and I hate Change

I only like thick crust pizza

I often time crave Diet Coke with a TON of ice

Eel is my favorite sushi...to which I have made Nick like...payback for the peanut butter I guess

Okay that's it for now...now you can write YOUR random things about you!

Silly Little Family

Mustaches. This is what happens when your kids are using watercolors and you let your husband supervise. Beware. :)

God's Signature

This morning during my walk with Lucy I came to a couple of houses where there was a big clearing in the trees and I could see the sky so clearly, which is pretty odd in the city. When I look at the sky I have to catch my breath...the sky is like seeing God's name written for the World to see. Isn't it amazing? We are so small and such a small picture of the gigantic Earth and Galaxy puzzle and yet looking at the sky makes me feel like God is hugging me. I mean after all, if God can keep the stars hanging in the sky and the Earth orbiting around the sun, surely He will provide for us. Surely he will see us through.

Best Brother In Law Ever

I must say I think I have the best brother in law ever! He saw a need and filled it. Nick and I have been so consumed with gloom and doom with the whole unemployment load on our shoulders. He is taking us to a Chicago Bears game with his amazing girlfrend Maggie! Isn't that amazing? Don't you just want to kiss him? Although this is super exciting to me, I KNOW it means so much to Nick. He's been watching our children every hour of every day and hasn't been out of the house so something for him will be great. Plus I think it will be really good for us to be able to have a little time away from the children.
In all ways God provides. Whether it be more money in your bank account than before (how did that happen?), an inspirational email from an editor, or a loving gesture from a brother, God provides for our spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.
Now Nick is busy growing a Ditka mustache...oh great! :) Did I mention we're excited?

Preschool's in Session!

Here's the big girl getting ready to get out of the car in preschool!
Here we are praying for Emma's first day of school...when we were done she asked us to pray for Calvin...isn't that just precious?

Here's our little girl by the car...she looks so tiny in this picture!

Emma Kazoo on her first day of preschool

Today was Emma's first day of preschool so our home was all abuzz with excitement! Emma didn't sleep much last night because she was nervous! She said she had such a good time and they let her play with bugs and they glued beans to their name. She seems to totally be into it now...yeah! Praise God she is adjusting well. I cannot believe I am a Mommy of a Preschooler though! Where has the time gone?

First day of Preschool!

Today is our first day of preschool! How exciting for Emma! I am sure I will be posting a TON of pictures later on. I know this is selfish but I am having a really hard time with Emma starting preschool. Especially because I cannot be at home. It's great that Nick gets to be home with the kids but it makes me have to sob uncontrollably to think that I am missing everything. I am not there to get her ready for her first day or to tell her its okay. I'm not there to do her hair or to tell her about when I went to preschool. Nick is picking me up so I can be there when we drop her off but I want to be there for everything! I would have made her pancakes shaped like pencils and other fun things for breakfast. But no! Stupid work! Stupid Nick losing his job so I can't be at home. Stupid, stupid.

Anyway, in case you haven't caught on, I tend to be mopey and whiney in the morning and then post a happier, cheerful post later on in the day. Not saying thats the rule since its my blog and I can do whatever I want.

So long Summer

This past weekend we were happy to bid adios to Summer. We attended a local festival in our area, stopped at the Farmers Market for some goodies, visited with family, and played in the sprinkler one last time! I had Nick bring down all of our Autumn decor from the attic so I am busy getting the house prepared.

One of my all time favorite things is lighting the twinkle lights around our house, lighting candles all around, and just relaxing...doesn't that sounds nice? Ahhhh. Autumn lets us do that. In the chill we all bundle up on the couch, pop some popcorn, and snuggle together watching Charlie Brown.

Here are some pics from our weekend...enjoy!

Here's Emma enjoying a yard of chocolate covered Strawberries with Aunt Jaime...thanks James!

Boiler up! Aren't the cute? Cal's turning into quite the little towhead!

Our last time in the water...sprinkler or otherwise...see you next year summer!